Alright, enough is enough. Your dog or cat is not a baby. I get that you love them. I totally love my fuzzy companions, I pet and snuggle and adore the heck out of them. I do not, however, actually think they are baby humans. I don’t tote them around in some kinda papoose and I sure as heck do not invite them to the dinner table.

I like the product description for this totally insane item. It reads “Satisfying a mutual desire for companionship, this high chair permits your dog or cat to accompany you at the dinner table.”  If you are that desperate for a companion consider making some friends. Get a roommate. Even getting a companion robot would be less ridiculous. I assure you, it’s not your companionship your pets are after during the dinner hour, it’s your food.

It goes on to say “By providing an alternative to sitting on your lap, running disruptively underfoot, or outright banishment, the chair assuages a pet (and its owner’s) frustration, and promotes more refined behavior.” Who are these people that are frustrated that Fifi and Fido can’t sit at the dinner table? Refined behavior? Seriously?

Also “Two tethers on the chair protect your dinner guests against any lapses in etiquette.” Lapses in etiquette? Like say inviting your dog to your dinner party?! WTF?!

But wait, this is my favorite “Folds for convenient storage and travel.” And travel?! Are they suggesting you should take this insane behavior out in public? Roll up to an Applebees with your pooch in tow? “Thanks, hostess, we’ll need a table for two but just one menu. I already know what Buster here will be having. Don’t worry, you don’t have to lug over a high chair for him. I brought my own.”

Stop the madness!