There’s a lot of disappointment inherent in living in the modern age, or as I like to call it, “the era when all the lies our parents told us about the future come home to roost”.

I like to think of myself as a futurist. Well, not a futurist per se, but a fan of futurism. I like to think that eventually we will get all those wonderful toys Q dreamed up for James Bond, the gadgets at the beck and call of The Avengers, the Justice League, Starfleet, and the Rebel Alliance. Futurists are the people that actualize all that sci-fi goodness.

I had dinner last night with my cousin and a friend of his who, when asked about his job, replied “Well, I predict the future.”

What the what?! Who talks like that? Better yet, why can’t I talk like that?

But it got me thinking about the never-ending wish list my wife and I have containing all the fantastical future-tech that Science has as of yet not provided. And how maybe it’s time that Science stop wasting my time and money detailing the differences between shaken and stirred martinis and confirming that yes, we as a society treat attractive people better than unattractive ones. We have real crises at hand here, Science! Namely, AIDS, cancer, and where’s my f-ing hoverboard?!

10. An effective cure for baldness that also cures excessive and unsightly body hair.

9. A pill that gives you six-pack abs that you can wash down with a six-pack of beer while sitting on the couch.

8. A cure for getting old.

7. Hoverboards

6. Flying cars

5. Jetpacks (or some sort of hydrogen fuel cell/mag-lev alternative)

4. Laser guns

3. Androids/robots that are more or less indistinguishable from people.

2. Time travel

1. Teleportation

You’re on notice, Science. Get to work!

What about it, you guys? What’s missing from our list?

(Thanks to Jarrett C. for his invaluable help in compiling such an epically awesome list!)

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