So, a few of you may remember my apoplectic diatribe from last Tuesday calling out Science for it’s consistent failure to bring about the wondrous future-stuffs we’d been promised from birth. It was pretty intense.

Well, now I’m wondering if maybe I was a little too quick on the trigger. Apparently, Science was tackling something useful to us (and by “us” I mean “me”): a cure for the common hangover.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you… Drinkwel!

According to the language on the Drinkwel site,

drinkwel is the first multivitamin specifically formulated for people that drink alcohol. Our 30-ingredient, doctor-formulated multivitamin will help you replenish nutrients, support healthy liver function, and improve the way you’ll feel the next day.*

OK. Now, you may have noticed that little asterisk tacked on to the end there? Well, it refers to the following disclaimer:

This product does not prevent intoxication, alcohol poisoning, alcohol abuse, or utter stupidity. Please drink responsibly. Never drink and drive! Do not consume alcohol if you are not of the legal age to do so, while pregnant or nursing. The statements on the www.drinkwel.com website have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. drinkwel is not intended to diagnose, mitigate, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

As with all supplements, consult a physician before taking drinkwel or if you believe you may have a dependency on alcohol. We support responsible drinking and DO NOT support underage drinking, excessive drinking, binge drinking or any unsafe drinking whatsoever.

Legal ass-coverage FTW!

Now, down to the nitty gritty: how much does a scientific miracle cost? $1.33 a day. When using as directed, imbibers are supposed to take THREE Drinkwel pills A DAY. Even on days when they’re not drinking! Add three MORE pills before bed after a night of drinking. Ostensibly, this will keep an elevated level of the nutrients and minerals alcohol leeches out of you in your system at all times, so that after a night of drinking, you’re merely reduced to normal levels of said nutrients and minerals. However, this also equates to an extra six Dixie cups a day of water above and beyond normal H2O intake. And aren’t water and time supposed to be the only weapons we have to combat hangovers? I think that’s what my high school health teacher used to say (thanks, Coach Franklin!)

So I’m smelling a little placebo in the air right now. What do you guys think?