March 1, 2012

Thirsty Thursday: Hello. My Name Is Inigo Montoya. You Killed My Father. Prepare to Dine.

There’s a short list of films that I will stop and watch whenever I happen upon them while flipping through channels.

Clueless is one of them, but not for the obvious Alicia Silverstone and Stacey Dash-shaped reasons.

• It was my suburban American post-‘Creep’ introduction to Radiohead, who by 1995 sounded like a completely different band.

• It was my introduction to Paul Rudd, who I have a hetero man-crush on to this day and will watch in almost anything.

• Wallace-f@#king-Shawn

Why Wallace-f@#king-Shawn? Because near the top of that movie list is The Princess Bride. And much of that has to do with Shawn’s role as the “brilliant” Vizzini. But a bunch of other reasons, too. Even surface imperfections like Andre the Giant’s unintelligible mumbling, the cheap set design and the crappy MIDI synthesizer score are actually part of The Princess Bride’s perfection.

So I’m admittedly stoked about’s latest offering, the “Bottle of Wits” line!

You can get the components parts separately, but also as part of the “Ultimate Princess Bride Fan Pack”, which includes bottles of ‘Inconceivable Cab’ and ‘As You Wish White’, four wine charms, and a non-Ex-Boyfriend t-shirt (boo!), all for the kind of insane price of $100. Iocane powder for the smiting of one’s enemies is not included.


January 12, 2012

Thirsty Thursday: Wine Etiquette for Dummies. And Stick(-ish) Figures.

Filed under: Thirsty Thursday — Tags: , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 10:23 am


This time of year is when I usually transition from beer & cocktails to wine. It also helps that Meredith & I made sure to stock up our wine rack at Trader Joe’s when we were visiting my family down in Virginia for the holidays. Maryland really needs to start allowing grocery stores to sell booze. Sigh.

Anyway, a very cool design/culture/miscellany blog my friend Adrienne turned me on to called A Cup of Jo recently ran a fantastic (and hilarious) post of wine-drinking (and serving) etiquette tips written by Joanna Goddard and illustrated by artist Gemma Correll. I won’t load the thing wholesale here, but definitely check out the original post here, and check out the whole blog and Gemma’s other work here; it’s great!

(Via A Cup of Jo; illustration by Gemma Correll)

November 29, 2011

Top Ten Tuesday: Top Ten Things I Put In My Face Over The Last Week

Filed under: Behind the Scenes,Top Ten Tuesday — Tags: , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 5:39 pm


10. A really crappy gin & tonic from the saddest tiki bar (imaginatively-named “Tiki Bar”) I’ve ever been to. I really wanted a Dark & Stormy, but apparently a rum-based drink with only one mixer (ginger beer) like that is much too exotic for a bar whose entire existence is predicated upon knowing how to make rum-based drinks with 3+ mixers, a shitload of fruit garnish, and a tiny paper umbrella.

9. Vegan Chicken Noodle Soup: A variation of my grandma’s recipe, nothing helps temper the inevitable “airplane” cold like chicken noodle soup.

8. Salad: Real talk: after three straight days of carb-coma, my body was absolutely CRAVING a big, dirty salad.

7. Whipped potatoes: “Mashed” has become the “Kleenex/Band-Aid” of the potato world, but I actually prefer the silky smoothness of whipped potatoes. And since rolling out of bed looking like a twee Adonis don’t come easy post-30, I don’t get to indulge as much anymore.

6. Vegan “turkey”: I love fake turkey, and Darbster’s Bistro did a fine job of approximating what we would have made ourselves.

5. Pecan Pie: I love pecan pie. It’s probably in my top five desserts list, but I rarely come across a really good one. This one was really good.

4. Leffe Blond Beer: Yeah, I was drinking pretty much non-stop; it is my style. Especially when the holidays roll around and I’m seeing a lot of family (just kidding [sort-of]; I love you guys!)

3. Wells’ Banana Bread Beer: A trend is developing.

2. Lindeman’s Cabernet Sauvignon: See below. Seriously though, Lindeman’s is a fantastic low-to-mid-priced wine from Australia. And if you want to read a hilarious mash-up of pop cultural signifiers, check out their About page—rampant sex, arson in the cut-throat wine biz, and a real-life imitation of the Three Little Pigs story.

1. Lindeman’s Shiraz: I first discovered Lindeman’s on one of our quarterly wine-buying treks to Trader Joe’s in Virginia (Maryland really needs to allow grocery stores to sell alcohol). Our first stop on the way from the airport to spend three days with the in-laws’? Total Wine, naturally.

How about you guys? What were some of YOUR favorite foods over the holiday? Let me know in the comments section below!


November 15, 2011

Who’s Honoring Me Now: Culture Magazine

Filed under: Ex-Boyfriend Nation — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 7:36 pm

I love cheese. Actually, “love” is kind of a weak-sauce descriptor for how I feel about cheese. If there was a word stronger than “love”, it would probably only apply to a few things in my life: Meredith, my cats, the Baltimore Orioles, and cheese. Maybe self-foaming hand soap (seriously, that stuff is right up there with flight, fire, and the wheel as far as technological advancements go).

So it’s pretty gratifying to find that Culture Magazine, the final word on cheese as far as print media goes, saw fit to feature my Check Out My Goat Tee shirt in their Autumn issue’s “Gear” section. I’m pretty stoked. And as you can see, it looks pretty awesome:

Pretty rad, huh? I’m gonna go celebrate with a glass of pinot noir and a hunk of gruyere.

Related Art:

November 10, 2011

Thirsty Thursday: The Best Music to Drink To? Who Cares! You’re Drinking!

Filed under: Thirsty Thursday — Tags: , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 8:50 pm

Your tax dollars (disguised as grant money) at work:

According to Time Magazine, some brilliant psychologists in England requiring one more flimsy published study to secure tenure have concluded that some wine drinkers may perceive whatever they’re drinking as better or worse depending on what music is playing while they’re doing so.

So if you hate the band Disturbed (warning: not suitable for listening to. Ever.) and that friend of yours throws them on as part of their dinner party soundtrack in an attempt to be ironic, you may find the wine less tasty than if there was something more appropriately-ignore-able (think “sad Starbucks compilation CD”) playing in the background.

Of course, that sour taste in your mouth (TWSS?) could be because even the finest wine ever fermented tastes like shit when you’re chugging it in an effort to flee said dinner party and forget that you ever knew the host(s).

Thanks, Science. Now where’s my f@#king hoverboard?!!

October 27, 2011

Thirsty Thursday: October = Apple Cocktails!

Filed under: Thirsty Thursday — Tags: , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 7:55 pm


Serious Eats recently profiled Jim Meehan of NYC speakeasy-era bar PDT for his selection of artisanal apple-themed cocktails, and the one I’m most desperate to try out myself is the Nouveau Sangaree. The combination of red wine, apple brandy, sloe gin and maple syrup really gets my taste buds going! Plus, it just looks awesome with the cinnamon-sprinkled apple slice garnish:)


  • Ice
  • 2 ounces Beaujolais Nouveau or other red wine
  • 1.5 ounces Laird’s Bonded Apple Brandy
  • 1/2 ounce Plymouth Sloe Gin
  • 1/4 ounce Deep Mountain Grade B Maple Syrup
  • 2 dashes Angostura Bitters
  • Garnish: apple slice sprinkled with cinnamon or nutmeg
To Make:
Fill a mixing glass with ice. Add wine, apple brandy, sloe gin, maple syrup, and bitters. Stir well and strain into a chilled coupe. Garnish and serve!
Remember to celebrate responsibly this weekend, and also that now until Tuesday, you can take 10% off your Ex-Boyfriend purchase by entering HALLOWEEN10 at checkout!
And as if that wasn’t awesome enough, be sure to check back tomorrow for the Fuzzy Friday post—new foster kitten pix are on their way!


October 18, 2011

Top Ten Tuesday: Australia, AKA Bizarro USA

So Australia was surprisingly like the U.S. in a lot of ways. But every one of those similarities was just a little off for some reason. Here’s a list of ten things that were just weird:

1. _________ (insert iconic snack food here) “Classic”:

So I thought to myself in the airport newsstand at LAX “I bet Meredith misses American junk food. I’ll bring some Oreos® along!” Good thing, too, because in Australia, they don’t have Oreos®. The have Oreos® Classic.

The ingredients are different, the packaging is muted and faded compared to the bright, bold blue of our Oreos©, and the taste…well, let’s just say the closest comparison I can think of is along the lines of “stale Hydrox”. And this wasn’t just limited to the cookies—5 Chewing Gum® (the one with the Matrix-y commercials) just tastes WRONG over there.

2. The Royal w/ Cheese (AKA, the f#$king metric system):

They use the same road sign set-up that we do on their highways—kelly green field with white border and text, in the same font. But my ability to determine how soon we would arrive at a destination was thrown by the fact that all of the distances were in kilometers, as was the speedometer in our rental. This confusion extended to filling up at gas stations—sold by the liter, not the gallon, and rather than stating that regular unleaded was $1.45 per liter, it just said “145.8” on the signs. So the cost of gas (and only gas) was expressed in hundreds of cents.

3. Alcohol Serving and Cost:

If you’re a cocktail and/or beer drinker and you’re in Australia, I hope you’re either loaded or OK with subsisting on wine. It’s easily the cheapest of their adult beverages. The average cost of cocktails in Melbourne is $18. Decent craft beers aren’t much less expensive, selling for between $8 and $12 a pint. Also, beers are served in one of three sizes: pots, pints, and jugs. Pints are like they are throughout the rest of the world (roughly 20 fluid oz.), but pots are half that size, and jugs are roughly equal to two pints (40 fluid oz.) Depending on the strength of the brew, you’ll want to adjust the size of your glass accordingly.

4. “Am I driving drunk, or just in Australia?”

They drive on the left side of the road, and the driver sits on the right side of the car. The toughest aspect of this? Remembering to use the lever on the right side of the steering column to signal turns and lane changes; the left side lever will (naturally) turn on your wipers. It’s very disorienting the first couple of days.

5. There are only white people in Australia.

Not really, but you’d certainly be forgiven for assuming that based on the television programming, especially the commercials. I think there may have been an islander in one of them, but that particular commercial was in black & white—almost as if they were trying to obscure the fact that there was a non-white actor involved. Now, our apartment had VERY basic channel offerings, but it was still noticeable enough that Meredith and I both commented on it.

6. Soccer is football. Football is GRIDIRON!

This was admittedly hilarious and awesome. They were actually airing commercials advertising open tryouts for refs, coaches AND players, and the clips of Australian “gridiron” they were showing throughout were so poorly-attended and sad-looking; you’d probably find more fans at a pee-wee football game for under-10’s here than the number that were watching the games in Australia.

7. They really love art:

Melbourne in particular was just COVERED in cool street art and graffiti, and that’s b/c it’s considered a valid form of artistic expression (as it should be). We walked by a couple of guys working on a mural in an alley off a main street at TWO IN THE AFTERNOON. The U.S. really needs to get on board with this.

8. Pumpkin, pumpkin everywhere, but not a pie to eat:

Basically, every restaurant had a pumpkin-centric item on the menu, but barring one establishment that offered a pumpkin pie ice cream sundae, they don’t seem to use pumpkin for sweet applications. They’re missing out!

9. They have a really vibrant music scene that is surprisingly (and wonderfully) not U.S.-centric.

We heard a lot of great indie-rock and pop music on the radio that just hasn’t broken through stateside, and it was pretty revelatory to find an entire continent with a rich pop musical history that I’ve only as yet scratched the surface of.

10. Wi-Fi = Dial-Up:

Seriously, the most frustrating aspect of being in Australia is the painfully slow internet speed. Even wired “high-speed” connections weren’t much better, with most browser windows freezing if more than two tabs were opened at one time. Maybe Al Gore was telling the truth when he claimed he invented the thing.

June 28, 2011

Title This Tuesday: I Want To Party With This Guy!

Filed under: Title This Tuesday — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 9:31 pm

Sadly, I’ve been too busy to contribute to the decline of my liver with my usual zeal and gusto. Speaking of which, I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least make mention of the site’s new web design. To quote Mr. Bueller, “It is so choice.”

Functionality is unchanged, but I think it looks quite nice, don’t you? Click around a bit, see what’s new!

Oh, and speaking of new…yes, I realize it’s been a few weeks since my last new design went up. But fear not, I’ve been busy sketching new ones like it’s my job. Because it is. New stuff up in the next few days, pinky swear.

Now, without further ado…on with the commentary! Add a caption to this studly photo in the comments section below! Winner gets unicorn kisses tonight after they fall asleep (no peeking!)


March 24, 2011

Thirsty Thursday: Now We’re Cookin’ With Wine!

Filed under: Thirsty Thursday — Tags: , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 5:13 pm

Don’t beat your kids, guys.

(Via TopCultured)
Also, despite her ham-handed promotion of said “twittah” feed, it’s pretty funny.

March 21, 2011

Mystery Monday: A Whale Of A Time

So much new art to share with you today, you guys. First, there’s Whale Trip, a lysergic odyssey of large proportions. Then, there’s International Boozing; the globe, re-imagined for those of us who do most of our cultural explorations with our livers:

But the art train doesn’t stop there! We have FIVE new designs from guest artist Hidden Eloise! The Last Red Rose, Baroness, The Pearl, Longing, and I’ll Make The Ocean My Home:

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