The bald head, the over-the-top facial hair, the creepily calm voice in the soothing southern accent, the fact that hugging this dude will likely result in blindness and facial disfigurement — a perfect storm of terror.
Have you heard about Fiverr yet? It’s an interesting concept. People post random things they are willing to do for $5.00 and you can hire them to carry out these tasks. It’s hard to say whether the economy is encouraging people to do bizarre stuff for a a mere $5.00 or if these people would be shilling their unusual services at bargain prices no matter what. Here are a few gems:
aioazech will “Photoshop an image of you to look like a Na’vi” (those creatures from Avatar). Blue skin and pointy ears? Hells yeah! Now I can finally make that match.com profile that will reel in the ladies.
If passive-aggressive fun is your thing, kayy is your girl. For a mere $5.00 she will make a 4 minute video yelling at someone you don’t like and post it to their Facebook or Twitter. Finally, someone to tell your ex-girlfriends all the things you were too much of a wuss to say yourself.
Other passive-aggressive relationship fun includes scarlettfleming‘s offer to post flirty/sexy messages on your Facebook so you can make other ladies jealous. Yep, that ought to get your ex-girlfriend running back into your arms.
For the self-esteem impaired/attention-seeking types who feel hotornot simply can’t be trusted, you can rely on donniedarko. For $5.00 he’ll honestly tell you whether you are good looking on a scale of 1-10. How, uh, helpful?
Finally, for the most bizarre fetishists, Cady will give her boyfriend a zrbt (raspberry) and send you a video of it. Is this a thing people are looking for? I’ve heard of furries and feederism but this one’s new. WTF?!