I’m scared of a lot of things, but by and large, they are things that it makes sense to be scared of. Fear, within reason, is not a bad thing.

I don’t like heights. Not so much being on the 36th floor of a skyscraper—that’s a pretty solid structure that is more or less safe to be in (unless you’re in earthquake territory or are unlucky enough to be visiting a building that pissed off the wrong crazy person—thanks for nothing, Mssrs. McVeigh & bin Laden!) But being up high on a device that I specifically have control over, like a ladder? No thanks. I even hyper-ventilate a bit when I stack my step stool on top of my dining chair to change light bulbs in the ceiling. This is why roofers and other general contractors will always make money off of me.

I also don’t really like going into the ocean. I’m not averse to hanging out close to the shore, with my feet still touching sand and my head fully above water. I like jumping waves, body-surfing, etc. But fully submerging myself into the food chain to look at some coral imposter hellbent on stinging me or photograph nature’s @$$hole up close?

No, David Blaine.

(Fun fact: one of the Great White aliases listed in the Wikipedia article linked above is literally “white death”. Cuddly!)

What’s that you say? Not everything in the ocean is designed to kill humans (even though the environment itself is undrinkable and cannot be breathed)?

This is true. I hear whale sharks are supposed to be quite docile, feeding on krill & plankton, with no taste for man-fles—wait, WHAT?!

So let me get this straight: this fish is extremely docile and eats only teeny-tiny shrimp & fish babies, UNLESS YOU CROSS ITS CONSUMPTION PATH AND IT JUST EATS YOU TOO BECAUSE IT’S TOO STUPID/LAZY TO TURN LEFT.

Again: No, David Blaine. Just no.

Although I suppose it could be worse; it could be such a dick that even after death it still tries to kill you, a la the Greenland shark (whom, it should be noted, likes to nom on some of our cutest friends, the seal and the polar bear. Monster!)

(Via Heather, who rocks, despite her favorite animal being a jerk.)

I’ve been on a big bear kick ever since I saw the Nissan Leaf ad featuring the friendly polar bear during last Thursday’s NFL season opener. This is one of the more ambiguous pics I’ve come across—I’m really hoping that dark stuff near the pup’s neck is just dark fur. If it is, huzzah creature cuddles! If it’s not… well, let’s just stick with the first option. “Circle of Life” sounds a lot nicer than “Circle of Death”. This guy knows what I’m talking about.

Add your captions below

P.S. I still wanna see your smiling face. Or your sneering face. Whatever suits you. Send me a picture of you in your Ex-Boyfriend tee or hoodie. Be sure to include your mailing address so I can send you a thank you.

Related Art::

This commercial made me just a little misty-eyed. I’m rarely fazed by car commercials but this one is so good, that if I were in the market for a car, I think I’d at least have to test drive a Leaf. Check out the adorable ad below:

Thanks to all who entered my Drinkwel giveaway. The prize goes to Deanna McBatman. Sounds like she’ll need some Drinkwel after a night of vodka and blue koolaid

Related art:

Check out Knut hamming it up for his fans. Add your captions for this photo below.

Insert your captions for this photo below

We humans might not be fans of the incessant snow but this polar bear doesn’t seem to mind. I thought I’d wrap up the week of snowmania with this cutie enjoying some of the white stuff.

P.S. The snow has made me so productive this week. More new art: Ghost Whisperers

A Manitoba resident saw this polar bear approaching his sled dogs and braced himself for the worst. Instead of eating the pups, this polar bear just hung out and played with them. The bear came back every night for a week to hang out with his new friends.

Via Now That’s Nifty

After a busy day of illustration, I decided some exercise was in order. I got to the gym just in time to catch Comedy Central’s Dane Cook special, “An Isolated Incident.” You should have seen me, because Dane Cook made me laugh so hard I almost fell off the treadmill — repeatedly. Luckily I managed not to injure myself, perhaps I should stick to my ipod next time.

Any way, about the new drawings. I had a heck of a time trying to decide how to represent this new white rabbit. Fill him in, leave him as a line drawing. I don’t know. I did versions of him both ways:

I also drew this polar bear and this cute little girl.