Well, it’s that time of year again. The time of year when we take stock of all of our failings over the last 12 months and lie to ourselves, saying “This is the year I finally get my act together and behave like an adult with dignity and self-respect!” The irony of this is that culturally, we tend to send out the old year in a haze of over-indulgence, between Christmas feasts, self-medicating at family gatherings, and consuming gallons of alcohol the last night of the year. It’s almost as if we’re subconsciously trying to kill ourselves so we don’t have to face the harsh, cold reality of treadmills, low-carb diets, and booze-less days and nights that January brings.
To that end, I thought it might be timely to pass along my list of little F-you’s to tradition and list the ten resolutions I will actually stand some chance of achieving in 2011. After all, the world’s going to end in 2012 (thanks, Mayans!)—this is our last full year to disappoint our family and friends with immaturity! Embrace that shit!
10. I resolve not to give up booze for any extended length of time (re: 3+ days)
9. I resolve to not see fewer than 10 home Orioles games (sorry, honey.)
8. I resolve to not give up dessert for any length of time. I don’t care if I’m forced to spoon-feed myself sugar straight from the bag—a man must have principles.
7. I resolve to weasel my way out of going to the gym at least once a week.
6. I resolve to not always feel the urge to defend my love of Gossip Girl.
5. I resolve to not worry so much about “maintaining” when I’m out with friends. Beer happens. And then vomit happens.
4. I resolve to dust off my guitars and annoy my cats with them at least once every three months.
3. I resolve to visit friends in far-off states. Mostly because they’re scared of Baltimore.
2. I resolve to not leave comic books lying around for foster kittens to pee on. Pretty sure that hurts the re-sale value.
1. I resolve to add at least 52 new designs to the Ex-Boyfriend line.
Alright, your turn. What are you guys gonna resolve to do in the coming year? Let me know in the comments below!