I worked on some new illustrations over the weekend inspired by Alice in Wonderland (the rabbit isn’t new, he’s just Wonderland-related). Enjoy.

This year winter is not screwing around. It’s out for blood and trying to crush the city. I spent my weekend holed up inside my fallout shelter, um, house I mean, waiting for the snowpocalypse to subside. It left up to 3 feet of snow in some areas. Considering that I went out for a bit in it and had snow up to my ass, literally, I am inclined to believe it. Here are some photos of winter’s handiwork:

You can see all my winter mayhem photos on my Flickr account. Actually things got so crazy around here that neighbors to the south saw snow lightning! Yes, SNOW LIGHTNING. Who knew you could even have that? Watch if you don’t believe it. I like the screaming in the background of this video, it adds a certain Blair Witch vibe to the whole thing.

Winter’s not done with us either. We have another blizzard heading our way for Tuesday. Snowmageddon 2: This Time It’s Personal. Stay tuned for my epic battle with nature. In the meantime, enjoy some new art. Since I was trapped indoors all weekend I drew some new pictures. (I spent much of my weekend doing housework and cursing the snow, thus my illustrations have a theme this week.)

Watch out for Yetis my mid-Atlantic homies, I have a feeling they’ll be making their way into town any day now.

Just a quick note to let you all know we picked a favorite comment for December:

“*GrumbleGrumbleGrumble* At this rate, I’d rather be a handbag! ”
-Damaris wrote in response to Title This Tuesday: This is Why Alligators Hate Kids

Keep your entertaining comments coming, we’ll pick a new winner at the end of January.

Also, I designed a new tee for the Valentine fans:

It’s no secret that Baptist evangelical Freddie Gage’s All My Friends Are Dead sermon LP has spawned a lot of homages and parodies over the years. I had initially thought about doing this design “straight”, using an actual historical figure. But the wife made a suggestion last night (after I had already completed the design, as is often the case) that maybe a zombie might be a better subject. After my customary tantrum at having to scrap hours of work, I got started on the revision. It turns out she was right (as is often the case.)

New design, ladies and gents. Please buy one? I have to feed my ever-expanding cat expensive diet food.

If you’re a regular visitor to this blog, you may remember that a few months ago I rescued two abandoned cats. Yesterday the wife and I (Wife! Crazy!) took Hobbes for a booster shot and the vet told us this guy needs to lose some weight. Because he. is. seventeen. and a half. pounds. Before you report us to social services, please understand that this cat is big-boned. Seriously; this guy’s paws are gigantic, and when he stands on his hind paws he can put his front paws on our counter top. It’s like we have a little mountain lion running around the house. You should hear him trotting down the hall upstairs, it sounds like a herd of elephants. I tried to point this out to our vet, but she still insisted Hobbes was getting pudgy, even for a big-boned part-mountain lion.

So Hobbes (and our other cats) are now on a new and more expensive diet cat food. Awesome. Maybe if you guys didn’t spend 22 hours a day in bed you wouldn’t be packing on the pounds. Just a thought. I am amazed they don’t get bed sores. You’ve never seen lazier animals.

I’m hoping Hobbes’ new food will help him slim down a bit, but if that doesn’t work, there are options:

1. Coffee in the water fountain
The cats have a fancy water fountain that’s supposed to encourage them to drink more water. I’m thinking maybe it’s time to switch my boys to coffee. Kitties on speed will not only result in good Youtube fooder, but all that caffeine might keep them from spending their entire day in bed. Imagine how much more productive my cats could be with a little morning joe. I bet I’d never see another house fly again.

2. Treadmill
We’ve all seen the very excellent videos of cats on treadmills, no? Perhaps it’s time to invest in one for my cats. Not only would this be great exercise, I am thinking we could knit them some leg warmers and headbands. They’d look adorable, like feline Jane Fondas or Olivia Newton Johns.

3. Kitty Thinspiration
I think part of the issue with my cats’ obesity is that they’re pretty proud of themselves. You should see them lying on their backs, tummies in full view, paws in the air. They take great pride in their excess baggage.

You’ve heard of pasting skinny models to your fridge to keep on your diet? Maybe what we need are photos from Cat Fancy of svelte pretty kitties to shame our boys into some self-control. Living in the media-free bubble that is our household, our cats have no concept of socially accepted beauty. A self-conscious cat is a health-conscious cat. Bring on the kitty fashion mags!

P.S. None of the above suggestions are approved by veterinarians. I am only kidding. Please do not try these ideas at home.

P.P.S. I (and our vet) think our cats are pretty rad at any size. We just don’t want them developing kitty diabetes or heart failure. Shit is real. Protect ya neck!

Penguins in love, what could be more romantic?

Inspired by an episode of 30 Rock, I designed these new Werewolf Bar Mitzvah t-shirts. Apparently Tracy Morgan recorded the “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” song in its entirety. I really need to download that.

First of all, a quick update on the foster kittens. They are super cute and getting bigger by the day. Buster is by far the bravest kitty, venturing out to explore when when put him in our room with us, and falling asleep on our comforter. The other two kitties are still very skittish, but we’re working on them. The cutest thing we’ve discovered about the kittens is that they purr in unison. Once you start scratching the top of one kitten’s head and he starts purring about it, the other two join in, even if they aren’t getting petted. Adorable!

I managed to tear myself away from the cute for a few hours and designed this new tee.

After a busy day of illustration, I decided some exercise was in order. I got to the gym just in time to catch Comedy Central’s Dane Cook special, “An Isolated Incident.” You should have seen me, because Dane Cook made me laugh so hard I almost fell off the treadmill — repeatedly. Luckily I managed not to injure myself, perhaps I should stick to my ipod next time.

Any way, about the new drawings. I had a heck of a time trying to decide how to represent this new white rabbit. Fill him in, leave him as a line drawing. I don’t know. I did versions of him both ways:

I also drew this polar bear and this cute little girl.

First of all I am going to start this post off by telling you that I slept way too late yesterday and as a result couldn’t fall asleep until late last night (and by this I mean later than usual). The good news is that the Golden Girls was on the Hallmark channel. This inspired a bout of bad television nostalgia. My girl and I reminded each other about the various antics of Uncle Jesse and the wacky Tanner clan and debated about how exactly the Golden Girls ended up living together any way. This is what nerd I am, I had to Google that this morning. The girls all lived in Blanche’s house. Dorothy was divorced, Rose and Blanche were widows. Aren’t you glad I looked into this and shared?

I digress, I really just wanted to post about the new drawings I did yesterday. For those of you who like pretty things:

For those of you who like fun with words, check out a salt with a deadly weapon. He’s not just content to give you high blood pressure. This table top thug is armed and dangerous. Yes, you would like some more salt on your fries!

Lastly, it’s not enough that I have Uncle Jesse and the Rippers cover of Forever stuck in my head today. You need to have it stuck in your head too. Notice the creepy soft focus and shirtlessness combined with the toddlers, what were they thinking? It’s so sexy yet so family values? Whatever, enjoy.

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P.P.S I know this whole Rickrolling thing is the new hotness, or not really that new, but it’s a thing to do. I really think Uncle Jesse rolling would be way more embarrassing. It doesn’t roll off the tongue as nicely but you do not want your officemates catching you gawking at the shirtless soft focus Uncle Jesse, do you?