July 5, 2011

Top 5 Tuesday: Verbally-Challenged Monsters

So yesterday was Independence Day, a holiday which, outside of maybe Labor Day or Memorial Day, is most often associated with celebrating outdoors.

Meaning, it’s for suckers.

It was 95° outside yesterday! I’m pretty sure the “independence” means “freedom from the tyranny of Mother Nature” and was intended to be spent sitting in front of A/C vents.

Pretty sure. I could be wrong.

Sorry, vets! Jus’ joshin’! You know I love you guys!

But anyway, I spent yesterday inside working on new designs and watching some of the “best” worst TV programming ever. Summer holidays are the ones when the nerdy interns nobody likes are left in charge at TV HQ, and man, do I love those guys. Yesterday I watched Godzilla vs. Mothra, which was terrible, but strangely amazing, and made me want to watch the original Godzilla, so I streamed that shizz on Netflix. It got me thinking, “what are the best movie monsters that don’t use language?”

It’s pretty easy to be a villain if you can explain your reasoning and motivation before causing mayhem on a large scale. You may disagree with his or her desire to saw your arms off or melt your brain with a laser, but more often than not they’re at least conscientious enough to explain the “why” behind their actions. Not so with these guys:

5. Staypuft Marshmallow Man—

This guy! I love this guy! He’s adorable (must be the hat), but capable of a truly sinister smile as he’s causing massive property damage, and leaves behind some truly tasty entrails once he’s been dispatched with some crossed streams (ewww).

4. Jaws—

Looks-wise, easily the most terrifying entry on this list. A lot of nerd-hay has been made since 1977 about how “fake” this animatronic beastie looked in hindsight, but I assure you, he looks pretty f@#king real to five year olds who only ever truly feel safe in water if they’re wearing water-wings, and even then, only in the kiddie pool.

3. King Kong—

50 feet tall, opposable thumbs, and unlike the 50 Foot Woman (supposedly), cannot be reasoned with.

2. The Kraken—

Talk about terrible branding—the kraken has never been definitively depicted. Sometimes its just a giant squid, other times this mash-up of a squid and a trilobite, and most recently in Pirates of the Caribbean as a sort of water-bound sarlacc. I prefer Ray Harryhausen’s creature from The Clash of the Titans; gigantic, amphibious (he will bring the beat-down to you), and has what look to be opposable thumbs. Want to avoid Jaws? Stay out of the water. Want to avoid the kraken? Um…learn to fly?

1. Godzilla—

Triple-threat! Dude can swim, walk, is big as a skyscraper, and can eat, burn, or sit on you to death. Then they gave him wings in the sixties. Game. Over.

Oh, and I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the new(ish) design! I re-did my Peanut Butter & Jelly Lovers design last week; I think it’s kind of awesome:

June 22, 2011

WTF Wednesday: NO, Japan! Just Stop It! Stick with Your Sexbots and Ninja Warriors and Messed-Up Game Shows!

Filed under: WTF Wednesday — Tags: , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 4:55 pm

Sorry about this guys—remember, don’t shoot the messenger:

Science FAIL, Professor Ikeda! One more brick tumbles off the wall separating us from the animals…

(Via DailyPicksAndFlicks.com)

June 14, 2011

Top Ten Tuesday: Oslo and Berlin (Part 2 of 2)

So after a quick diversion into the robotic realm last week, I thought I’d wrap up this two-part series about my recent European escapades!

Previously I posted some pics of the cool art to be seen in Oslo, Norway and the choicest selections from Berlin’s East Side Gallery. This week’s focus is a bit more on Berlin’s excellent street art scene.


This awesome Japanese woodcut-style portrait decorated the side of a hotel across the street from the East Side Gallery facing the Spree River. We really loved the economical use of color and elegant contours and just thought in general it was great art AND marketing for the hotel; it’s hard to miss AND hard to forget.


After a couple of mis-steps seeking out the cream of the art scene crop that we’d heard so much about before arriving in Berlin, we asked the proprietor of Big Brobot, a very cool book/toy/comic/t-shirt shop in the Friedrichshain section of the city, if he could recommend any good galleries that exhibited more street art and pop art (as opposed to the truly awful installations we’d seen up to that point.) He kindly pointed us in the direction of the NeuroTitan gallery and shop.

After a couple of missed turns, we finally were pointed in the direction of the correct alley leading to the gallery. Once we stepped into the alley, we were greeted with some really wonderful pieces of street art, from spray can art to traditional media to paste-ups.


The alley then led into a courtyard that featured this very cool steam-powered sculpture of a steampunk bat-creature with flapping wings, roving eyes, and flailing proboscis. I really wish I’d switched on my video camera to catch it in action!


Finally, to get to the NeuroTitan gallery, we had to climb a few flights of stairs to enter the shop area before checking out the exhibit. While the exhibit was pretty “meh”, the trip up the stairs was awesome, with the walls just COVERED in really cool graffiti and street art. One of our favorites was the “Fashion Chimp” ad paste-up, done in the style of a 1930s-40s women’s magazine. Who wouldn’t want a giant, life-sized “fashion chimp” for their home?


That pretty much wraps up our 2011 European adventure. Sad as we were not to be able to make it to Tokyo, it was an excellent diversion none the less, and hopefully the planet is done kicking Japan’s ass for a few years and we can make it over there soon.

In OTHER Ex-Boyfriend news—AT LEAST two new designs are going to be up by the end of this week. If you or someone you know is into vampires, kitties, and/or kawaii-style art, be sure to check back!

ALSO: Be sure to tune into The Daily Show on Comedy Central tonight at 11pm. Our good friend Jackson Galaxy from Animal Planet will be sporting our very own Fuzz Aldrin this evening during Aasif Mandvi’s segment! Woot! Be sure to spread the word!

UPDATE: The Daily Show segment featuring Jackson Galaxy wearing Fuzz Aldrin tonight has been postponed thanks to some big political news today, but I’ll keep you guys updated about when it really airs!

May 20, 2011

Fuzzy Friday: Can The Orioles Please Trade Luke Scott And Stick This Beagle In Left Field?

Filed under: Fuzzy Friday — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 8:47 am

(Via PopHangover.com)

May 18, 2011

WTF Wednesday: WTF WTF WTF Japan WTF WTF Belly Button WTF WTF WTF Yellow Dinosaur

Filed under: WTF Wednesday — Tags: , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 3:19 pm

Just when you’ve made peace with your disappointment at having to change your planned vacation to Japan in an effort to avoid coming home with three eyes and six fingers, something like this comes along and makes you sad all over again and causes you to wonder if maybe the extra limbs might be worth it:

(Via ForkParty.com)

May 3, 2011

Title This Tuesday: This is NOT What I Meant When I Said I Wanted a Pony for My Birthday

Filed under: Title This Tuesday — Tags: , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 4:25 pm

This photo is so bizarre it could easily pass for a WTF Wednesday or a Title This Tuesday. Today I’m busy working on a fun soon-to-be-revealed project in the studio, so no time to write a list. Instead be amused/horrified/baffled by this gem that comes to us via Fork Party and let us know what you think is going on below:

April 11, 2011

Mystery Monday: Lamenting Nature’s Obvious and Irrational Hatred of Japan

Filed under: Mystery Monday — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 5:53 pm

How could you want to drown/irradiate/bury under rubble a culture so amazing that it created this?

By the way, I’m pretty sure I’d stop eating my lunch if one of my soybeans started up a conversation with me, too.

Furthermore, if that island chain gets any more irradiated, I’m betting that by next harvest, edamame really WILL have eyes and the capacity for speech.

(Via Chris. Thanks, man!)

February 28, 2011

Mystery Monday: Industrial Art (No, Not KMFDM)

Filed under: Mystery Monday — Tags: , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 7:09 pm

Pretty cool, huh? A recent(-ish; this started a few years back) fad in Japan has been nighttime “factory tours” in Kawasaki to view industrial buildings lit up at night. It’s heartening to know that even signifiers of the coming ecological collapse (at least as far as humans and polar bears are concerned) can produce art.

(Via CNNgo.com)

January 12, 2011

WTF Wednesday: Kikko-Man Is Going to Kikko Your Ass

Filed under: WTF Wednesday — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 6:00 pm

Everybody with even a casual appreciation of sushi or stir-fry is familiar with Kikkoman soy sauce. It’s not going to set the world on fire with its relatively pedestrian flavor, but it’s cost-effective and gets the job done. Strangely, they decided to beef up their rep as the world’s #1 soy sauce producer with this bizarre ad and jingle that features, among other things, a condiment battle-to-the-death and kitten lynching, all done in what appears to be MS Paint with a MIDI synthesizer backing.

This alternate version includes English subtitles that don’t really clarify anything, and “softens” the impact of the hanged kitten by instead forcing him to stare at the corner like a dunce. That will teach him to put soy sauce on an omelette! Futhermore, why is Kikko-Man enjoying a post-sex canoodle with a strange woman? The lyrics do not explain this AT ALL. Also, Kikko-Man calls out Ketchup and Worchestshire, but who’s the guy with the yellow vase-head who keeps urinating out of his mouth? He needs more character development.

Well-played, Japan.

December 22, 2010

WTF Wednesday: Urine fer it now, Japan!

Filed under: WTF Wednesday — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 6:01 pm

Some web-nerd really needs to design a smirking, head-shaking emoticon, because the more I stare at the internetz, the more that that becomes my go-to expression. Also, I’m seriously considering changing the name of the Wednesday posts to “WTF, Japan?! Wednesday”, because it seems like every single week some new craziness gets transmitted to us from the land of the rising sun.

This week, it’s pee-based gaming at men’s room urinals. Go ahead, read it again. I’ll wait. Get it? Got it? Good.

So yeah, in an effort to curb poor aim at wall urinals that results in messy floors (ladies, I’m really sorry for this—also, if you think this is isolated to solely Japan, poke your head into the men’s room next time you’re out at a bar or your S.O. drags you to a sporting event), SEGA has introduced video games that men can “play” by aiming their streams at sensors in the urinals. Force of stream and accuracy help achieve high scores (I can’t believe I’m typing this).

Think of it like that age-old classic of writing your name in the snow with your pee, but much more sophisticated. At least from a technological standpoint. There is nothing culturally sophisticated about playing with your own pee. In fact, now that we’ve been incentivized to play with our own waste, I think you could make the argument that we are, in fact, devolving. This was the one thing separating us from apes.

The only way this could get worse is if SEGA secures licensing rights to the Ghostbuster franchise and develops a game wherein crossing of the streams is encouraged.

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