To our fans in the areas affected by Sandy: stay strong. Our thoughts are with you. To those that aren’t, please help if you can. Canned goods are great, but they’re generally not accepted as legal tender in exchange for blankets & such. You know things are rough when we’re operating within a soup-based economy. I mean, it could be worse…but you don’t wanna know about it.
Sorry for the prolonged radio silence (radio? WTF’s a radio, old man?!), but we were in NYC all last week and this past weekend for New York Comic Con, and it’s taken me two whole days to properly decompress and catch up on things here in Ex-Boyfriend HQ. Selling tees, subsisting on soft pretzels, drinking yourself to sleep — you know, BIZNESS. Earnin’ that dolla-dolla bill. Kitty needs a new pair of kitten mittons.
Anyway, we have lots of pictures to share, and great stories (remind me to tell you about the cab I shared with the coked-out CPA in Hoboken who decided it was better to ask me if I was a cop AFTER he took a HUGE snort from his little phial. It was all very American Psycho.)
In the meantime, enjoy this supremely disturbing video of a belly-dancing wookie. Remember — once you’ve seen it, you can’t UN-see it!
City Envy, n. – Acute jealousy experienced by visitors in cities that have cooler stuff to do than back at home.
One of the fun aspects of what I do is the travel involved in going and vending my stuff around the country. This year alone, Ex-Boyfriend has been in Las Vegas, Boston, New York City, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh, Chicago, Baltimore, and Washington, DC. Next year we’re anticipating the addition of Orlando, San Francisco, and possibly even Toronto! And as much as we love Baltimore and miss it while we’re gone, there are certain things about these new metropolises that we just go ga-ga over and wish were waiting for us back home.
Now, I’m not much of a gamer. I play Scramble With Friends and Words With Friends (feel free to start a game with me; username: Bearadactyl) and occasionally Baseball Superstars on my phone when waiting around outside of changing rooms or watching TV, but that’s about it. I haven’t seriously played video games since I was 19, which was…longer ago than I am willing to reveal to YOU people.
But a video game tournament involving alcohol consumption at a bar, with the prize being a fully-subsidized bar tab for the evening? I am ALL ABOUT IT. Especially given that my heightened tolerance and pairing with an equally-rusty or inexperienced gamer is the only hope I’d have of advancing to the second round. Maybe they assess bonus points for competing in a Tanooki suit.
This is just surreal — a security firm called HALO Corp. is actually including emergency zombie outbreak training in their upcoming annual counter-terrorism summit, which will be attended by over 1,000 military, law enforcement, medical, and federal personnel. Admittedly, they are being tongue-in-cheek about the whole thing, explaining that it’s merely a fun way to engage in a pandemic training scenario, but this is a bit too meta for even my liking.
“HALO Corp.”? Seriously? I feel like I’m being punked by my brother Tom and his LAN party friends. Regardless, remember to always aim for the head.
I don’t ever get to just GO to a lot of the events I sell at — IF I’m lucky (unlucky?) enough to be working a convention or trade show with occasional lulls in foot traffic and wander around, it’s never enough time to fully absorb all that the conventions have to offer, and I can never do it concurrently with Meredith, as she and I switch off who mans the fort while the other wanders.
Which is why I was SO excited to hit the 2012 Small Press Expo this past weekend with Meredith — we got to see the WHOLE show floor, and take our time at each table/booth, engaging with the artists and chatting with friends.
Here are some of our favorite new (to us) artists from the show, and where to find them:
Text-heavy, but in the best way possible, with perfectly executed illustrations that support the hilarious rules and tips for seasoned time travelers and noobs alike.
Rutabaga is an adorably adventurous chef, forever seeking out the most magical and legendary ingredients, and feeding the denizens of the forest along the way!
At times cringe-inducing, at times hilarious, this auto-bio is expertly executed, drawing from the creator’s own romantic (and less-than-romantic) experiences.
Cute, funny watercolor illustrations of the absurd. Difficult to describe succinctly, as Scott’s themes are wide-ranging, but really well done!
****
Honestly, there were so many, many other awesome creators selling wares at SPX that Meredith and I found ourselves saying “I want to buy everything!” to one another countless times over the 4 hours we spent walking through the convention hall. Some other really awesome artists to explore include:
Every single part of this video of Nekrogoblikon’s “No One Survives” is hilarious, but here are some highlights and Easter eggs:
• The bartender at Carlito’s Way is Jon Lajoie, aka Taco from FX’s The League
• The object of the goblin’s affection is, errmm, adult film star Kayden Kross
• If you go to the YouTube page, you can read the full lyrics. They are pretty typical for metal, but here’s a wonderful taste:
We used to laugh, we used to cry,
Now the only thing we do is die!
• Kudos for the sly nod to NOT drinking and driving
• Beer > heist money
• That’s a lot of off-duty cops in that bar
• “Made From Beer” is a slogan straight out of Idiocracy
In other drinking-related news:
I’ll be selling my wares this weekend (Saturday AND Sunday) at the Baltimore Comic Convention in the Baltimore Convention Center. Our good friend John at Ex-Boyfriend’s unofficial “sponsor bar” Bad Decisions is knocking a whopping 10% off the tab of anyone who comes in Saturday or Sunday wearing Ex-Boyfriend gear! A pretty sweet deal from the best bar and lifestyle label Charm City has to offer!
Admission to the con is super-cheap — just $25 for Saturday, $20 for Sunday, or $40 for both! If you’re a panicking Yankees fan, come out for the nerds during the day, catch the game across the street with us in the evening, and then get crunk at Bad Decisions to drown your sorrows after the O’s win! Just hop in the closest cab and say “Fells Point, corner of Fleet & Washington”!
Finally, if you’ve been itching to get a Fuzz Aldrin, Catnip Freakout, or Fidel Catro shirt for yourself or a friend, September is the month to do it. Why? Because Ex-Boyfriend has teamed with Jackson Galaxy and Spirit Essences to support the worthy cat rescue group Kitten Associates! Throughout the month of September, Ex-Boyfriend is donating $5 from the sale of tees & hoodies featuring these three designs to Kitten Associates, so snap ‘em up yourself, or help us spread the word!
Guaraná Antarctica is a Brazilian soft drink company. They’re also revolutionizing post-breakup back-slides and social media shaming with their Ex-Lover Blocker app.
Here’s how it works:
You “convince” your newly-single friend to download and install the app on their smartphone. They then designate the former lover’s number as “blocked”, and in the event of a moment of weakness, the app prevents the ex’s number from dialing and also alerts selected friends of the attempted contact in order for them to prevent further attempts. If the forlorn dump-ee still elects to deactivate the app and call the dump-er, the app announces their weakness on Facebook to invite public shaming. You know, the way all good friends do.
Enjoy them (and snow) while you can, folks — the mercury hit 104 yesterday in Baltimore! Thank goodness climate change is a myth, or we’d all be in some serious trouble!
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