our customers
Top Ten Tuesday: Acceptable Excuses for Frowned Upon Behavior
Even the most shameless of Hedonism Bots probably occasionally feel a little self-conscious indulging in some of our favorite guilty pleasures; thankfully we’ve got socially-accepted fall back plans for indulging….
Eating an entire bowl of condiments
Normally scarfing down a jar of salsa would raise eyebrows, but this is why I love gazpacho. It’s basically salsa, but if you call it a chilled soup, no one bats an eye. Thank goodness warm weather has arrived!
Going out in public without a shirt, shoes or pants
When it’s hot and sticky outside, sometimes you just want to let it all hang out, which is why the beach is awesome. You can wear next to nothing and no one minds. Plus the ocean usually brings a nice breeze with it.
Drinking before noon
Normally drinking before noon means you’re a lush, which is why I enjoy international flights. It’s probably after noon where you were or where you were going, plus you’re stuck in a seat with a little tray table for hours on end; what else are you going to do to pass the time?
Playing hookie and not pretending to be sick
Normally, if you’re going to cut work, you have to either plan “vacation” in advance or fake sick. Sometimes you just want to spend the day drinking cocoa and making snowmen, which is why blizzards rule. No one expects you at work and you can goof off all day without feeling guilty. You don’t even have to be productive and run errands because stores are probably closed too.
Smoking dope and eating cake for dinner
Not only is Amsterdam full of delicious beer and great art, it’s one of the few places in the world where it’s nearly expected you’ll spend some of you vacation getting stoned and eating junk food.
Dressing dumb and/or slutty
Halloween, or as some call it Slut-oween, is easily the most fun holiday of the year. You can literally wear anything you want and no one can say anything about it. Got a ridiculous pair of Ted Mosby-style red cowboy boots you’ve been wanting to break out? Got an outrageous wig you want to wear with an unreasonably short skirt? Go for it! It’s Halloween and anything goes. Added Halloween bonus: not only are your ridiculous sartorial decisions celebrated, it’s even an excuse to chat up cute dudes or ladies you might otherwise not have an in with.
Double dipping
It’s a classic problem. You’re at a party, you dip a carrot in some dip and eat the dipped half. Now what? You can’t dip again since your carrot is now covered in your germs. So you’re stuck finishing your naked carrot without delicious dip goodness. This is why I love sharing a dip-related meal with my wife. Our germs are pretty well-shared between the two of us so I can dip my veggies in the hummus to my heart’s content.
Having a stranger wash your hair
This sort of thing is normally reserved for the perv section of Craig’s List. It sounds like a weird fetishy request in the same vein as toe sucking. This is why getting your hair cut is awesome; it includes having your hair washed and your scalp massaged and no one will judge.
Going to college parties
If you’re over the age of 22 and still hanging around college parties, you’re bound to be thought of as in a state of hopeless arrested development. This is why having younger siblings in college is awesome. Every once in a while, you get nostalgic for the old days of beer pong and term papers; that’s when it’s time to pay your kid brother or sister a visit. You can go to their parties and if anyone asks, you can just explain you’re only there visiting your sibling. Now where’s that keg?
Gambling
They don’t call Vegas “Sin City” for nothing. With its bevy of strip clubs, casinos, and all-you-can-eat buffets, a multitude of bad behavior is welcome here. But by far, the number one thing Vegas is known for is gambling. While your wife might not forgive losing this month’s mortgage on craps, she’s likely to chalk up losing a few bucks to just having a good time.
