Sorry for missing yesterday; the Ms. and I were wrapping up our periodic “oh right, this is why we could never live in New York” trip. Nothing against The Center of the Known Universe© (other than the Yankees); it’s just not our preferred stress level (that is, EXTREMELY HIGH, ALL THE TIME). Full disclosure: me being sick and it being extremely cold the whole time may have played a role.

It wasn’t all bad, though—there were a lot of great things about the visit. So to that end, this week’s list is actually a 5-item list of our favorite parts of the visit:

Top 5 Best Things About Our NYC Visit:

5. Visiting and catching up with  some of our friends and family
4. Getting to walk down Broadway in Soho and visit all the different boutiques and see what other designers are up to and into
3. Experiencing Strand Books for the first time. That place is incredible (though the organization is not at all intuitive)! If you’ve ever been to the Amoeba Music in Los Angeles, it’s like that, but with books; kind of paralysis-inducing, it’s so full of books. You just don’t know where to start, and before you know it it’s been three hours and you’ve only scratched the surface. I wanted all of their beautiful leather-bound classics (sorry cows! Let’s hope it was synthetic.) But I did pick up a very cool book on modern poster design for inspiration.
2. Our dedication to food tourism is well-documented here, so it was great to discover Cocoa V in Chelsea Saturday night, a tiny, very cute and romantic chocolate & wine bar that sells artisanal bon bons and caramels that are so pretty you almost don’t want to eat them. Following our visit to Cocoa V, we ate at Pure Food and Wine (between Union Square and Gramercy Park) on Sunday evening and had a raw food extravaganza. The food was wonderful, the service impeccable, and despite it being a little on the loud & crowded side, a really cozy, romantic atmosphere.
1. Le Scandal burlesque show Saturday night at the West Bank Cafe on 42nd St. Sooooo hilarious and entertaining; completely made up for the rocky trip up. Not for the straight-laced, but if you enjoy bawdy humor interspersed with occasional pasty-covered breasts (who doesn’t, amirite?!), then this is definitely worth checking out.

Also, I am super-envious of NYC’s cab fleet. Nice, new-ish, clean vehicles with TV’s that take cash AND cards? Sign me up!

What about you guys? What are some of your favorite things to do in the Big Apple? Let me know in the comment section below!

My Valentine weekend would have been mostly charmed, had it not been for the bad and ugly, but that will wait. First, the good:

My girl and I took a road trip to Philadelphia. We went to this amazing bakery called Vegan Treats. According to her, it was located in a “suburb” of Philly. Note to all you Pennsylvania neophytes—80 miles is a bit far for a town to be considered a “suburb”. Anyway, we ate cake for breakfast!!!

After the sugarfest we made our way into the city proper and wandered around South Street for a while. We got spicy chai at a tiny Moroccan cafe and really good Syrah at a wine bar. Then we went to dinner at Horizons, which was the best food I’ve ever had in my life!

The menu:
Saffron Tomato Bisque with smoked foccacia croutons and a roasted eggplant “dumpling”
Wild Mushroom Crepe with creamy truffle sauce, golden beet tartare, and seaweed caviar
Baked Seitan Terrine with dijon glaze, potato chive crust and red wine sauce
Pan Seared Tofu Hanalei with hearts of palm and lomi tomato salad and warm lemongrass butter
Chocolate Covered Red Velvet Cake with lemon-vanilla bean ganache and toasted coconut

My camera didn’t really do the food justice because of the sexy lighting but here are a few shots:

Now onto the bad and ugly: Friday night we noticed our furnace was making funny noises. It kept turning on and immediately switching off. We called an HVAC service. The HVAC guy said the off/on issue was the result of a dirty sensor (which he cleaned) but then he said it looked like we had a broken seal on our furnace that could cause carbon monoxide leakage. He said repairing the problem would cost almost as much as a new furance.  He also said he’d have to rip out the dry wall to repair or replace the furnace since it was in a closet. Then (unbeknownst to us) he turned the gas off to the heater so we had no heat.

Amid a lot of cursing and bitching, my girl insisted we call another HVAC guy to get a second opinion because she wanted to make sure this was a legit issue and she was not about to go two months with no #&!#% heat!!! At least our cat Oliver gave us a lot of cuddles. When the house is 30 degrees he gets very affectionate.

The second HVAC tech took apart our furnace (thankfully leaving our drywall intact) and told us all the heat exchanger seals were fine and the  only problem we had was that the gas was disconnected. He said the dirty sensor may have been an issue but it wasn’t now and our furnace is fine. So it cost $400 to pretty much find out nothing was wrong with our furnace that a little soap and water wouldn’t cure. Ouch! At least we don’t need a new furnace, so I won’t have to sell my kidney or anything.

Also, my girl got me this for Valentine’s Day:

No, we don’t have a new cat (yet). What she did was sponsor a kitty in my name at the MDSPCA. We aren’t quite ready for a new kitty in our family yet, so sponsoring a little guy at our local shelter was the next best thing.

Oh, and I designed two new shirts this past weekend:

I am both a foodie and vain. This is a real problem. It’s kinda like being a meth head and a fitness fanatic. These two interests are at odds. As a result of my condition I am usually in one of two modes, hedonism or penance. For weeks, or even months, I’ll indulge in my foodie proclivities. I’ll eat sun-dried tomato and artichoke heart pizzas and my girlfriend’s amazing chai latte cupcakes. Then the guilt sets in, and my pants get snug, and I realize it’s time to pay for my sins.

Currently, I’m in serious diet mode. I’ve gained like 10 lbs! I don’t know how I let this happen. Well, yes I do, my girlfriend and I are both great cooks and I’ve been too busy with school and work to hit the gym. I also eat too many fucking cookies.

My girl and I are both dieting. Misery loves company. We’re trying to stick to 1200 calories per day and at least 180 minutes per week at the gym. While doing hard time, gastronomically speaking, I have only one thing on my mind and it’s junk food.

Why is it that as soon as I’m on a diet I can think of nothing but HoHos and Doritos? I don’t even like these things or eat them when I’m not dieting. Suddenly every TV commercial for awful food practically gives me a boner.  Things I am most desperate to eat right now:
1. Mac N Cheese
2. Nachos
3. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
4. Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
5. French Fries (with a gallon of ketchup)

At least sex doesn’t have any calories, thank goodness.

I’m usually torn between doing what sells for this site and doing what amuses me. I end up trying to do a bit of both. My girlfriend and marketing adviser (my girlfriend is a marketing consultant, is that weird for an artist? She sounds very corporate. Actually she works in her pajamas most of the time but sometimes she puts on these really hot looking suits… any way I digress.) has informed me that junk food t-shirts seem to be popular and she’s suggested I design some tees around that theme. People are probably looking for t-shirts with the Twizzlers logo. How boring. Plus, this isn’t helpful to me since it’s all trademarked and stuff.

So I’m going to invent my own junk food brands and make t-shirts for them. I will be like Willy Wonka with scrumdidillyumptious bars and lickable wallpaper. So I present to you my top 10 list of imaginary junk foods I am considering designing t-shirts around.

1. Candwich: It’s a candy and a sandwich. Lunch and a sugar fix in one tasty bar. Now available in chocolate bacon!

2. Glowrocks: Dazzle your friends with glowrocks, the candy that makes your mouth glow in the dark.

3. Whiskeyduds: a malted peanut butter and whiskey center with a chocolate candy shell. Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker, get you sugar and whiskey buzz all in one tasty snack.

4. Cheesefizz: The carbonated cheese flavored beverage available in cheddar, blue cheese and Gouda.

5. DinoBars: The super gigantic colossal chocolate bar with savory meat filling! When you’ve got a t-rex hunger turn to DinoBars.

6. Cheddar-Flavored Porkpoppers: A savory meal or snack available in your frozen food aisle. A trio of bacon, sausage and ham blended with a creamy cheddar filling, deep-fried and microwave ready.

7. Scrappleghetti: Too tired to make dinner? Pop open a can of Chef Girlardee’s Scrappleghetti, a savory blend of spaghetti and scrapple that makes a filling meal for the family.

8. Kakepops: Deep-fried vanilla cake on a stick. Enjoy your cake on the go!

9. Robo-Cola: A delicious space age beverage made by robots for robots made, available in original diesel flavor and plutonium! (OK so this is junk food for robots but soda is still junk food, right?)

10. Meatos: Taking pork rinds to the next level, Meatos are made with 12 different kinds of meat, dehydrated and deep fried for your snacking pleasure.

So, whaddya think? Bacon chocolate anyone?

P.S. Despite my many meat references I must confess, I’m actually a vegetarian. I just think meat is funny as a concept.

P.P.S If any Nabisco or Nestle executives are reading this and considering stealing these ideas, they are MINE and you may not steal them, however tasty you think they sound!