10. A really crappy gin & tonic from the saddest tiki bar (imaginatively-named “Tiki Bar”) I’ve ever been to. I really wanted a Dark & Stormy, but apparently a rum-based drink with only one mixer (ginger beer) like that is much too exotic for a bar whose entire existence is predicated upon knowing how to make rum-based drinks with 3+ mixers, a shitload of fruit garnish, and a tiny paper umbrella.
9. Vegan Chicken Noodle Soup: A variation of my grandma’s recipe, nothing helps temper the inevitable “airplane” cold like chicken noodle soup.
8. Salad: Real talk: after three straight days of carb-coma, my body was absolutely CRAVING a big, dirty salad.
7. Whipped potatoes: “Mashed” has become the “Kleenex/Band-Aid” of the potato world, but I actually prefer the silky smoothness of whipped potatoes. And since rolling out of bed looking like a twee Adonis don’t come easy post-30, I don’t get to indulge as much anymore.
6. Vegan “turkey”: I love fake turkey, and Darbster’s Bistro did a fine job of approximating what we would have made ourselves.
5. Pecan Pie: I love pecan pie. It’s probably in my top five desserts list, but I rarely come across a really good one. This one was really good.
4. Leffe Blond Beer: Yeah, I was drinking pretty much non-stop; it is my style. Especially when the holidays roll around and I’m seeing a lot of family (just kidding [sort-of]; I love you guys!)
2. Lindeman’s Cabernet Sauvignon: See below. Seriously though, Lindeman’s is a fantastic low-to-mid-priced wine from Australia. And if you want to read a hilarious mash-up of pop cultural signifiers, check out their About page—rampant sex, arson in the cut-throat wine biz, and a real-life imitation of the Three Little Pigs story.
1. Lindeman’s Shiraz: I first discovered Lindeman’s on one of our quarterly wine-buying treks to Trader Joe’s in Virginia (Maryland really needs to allow grocery stores to sell alcohol). Our first stop on the way from the airport to spend three days with the in-laws’? Total Wine, naturally.
How about you guys? What were some of YOUR favorite foods over the holiday? Let me know in the comments section below!
I love cheese. Actually, “love” is kind of a weak-sauce descriptor for how I feel about cheese. If there was a word stronger than “love”, it would probably only apply to a few things in my life: Meredith, my cats, the Baltimore Orioles, and cheese. Maybe self-foaming hand soap (seriously, that stuff is right up there with flight, fire, and the wheel as far as technological advancements go).
So it’s pretty gratifying to find that Culture Magazine, the final word on cheese as far as print media goes, saw fit to feature my Check Out My Goat Tee shirt in their Autumn issue’s “Gear” section. I’m pretty stoked. And as you can see, it looks pretty awesome:
Pretty rad, huh? I’m gonna go celebrate with a glass of pinot noir and a hunk of gruyere.
Things at the MDSPCA have been a bit up in the air the last few months, at least as far as the foster program goes, as they’ve transitioned from one foster coordinator to another. But happily I got the call yesterday, and am excited to introduce you all to our newest temporary tenants:
As per usual, the provided names left much to be desired; these two girls are half of a four-kitten litter, and every one of them got saddled with a ridiculous food name: Grits, Gravy (pictured above), Cocoa Puff (pictured below), and though I didn’t catch the fourth one’s name yesterday, I imagine it was something like Chicken-Fried Steak. So I’ve renamed the cutie above Buttercup because of the chocolatey and peanut buttery coloring of her fur.
This little one has been tentatively-named Butterscotch because of the markings on her head, but I’m not really feeling it, and am worried about the possible confusion that may arise. I’m thinking I might switch it to Toffey, but maybe I need to just move away from the food-based monikers altogether—think outside the bun, as it were.
Anyway, I’m sure there will be many more pix and vids of these two over the next couple of weeks while we fatten them up for surgery, so be sure to check back soon!
And don’t forget—enter HALLOWEEN10 at checkout through October 31st for 10% off your order(s)!
Admit it: you’ve always wished there was a slightly more convenient, less-liquid-y way to consume your alcohol. Or maybe it’s just me.
Anyway, thank goodness for Camper English, the L.A. Times’ resident booze guru and acclaimed inventor of the Honey Badger shot. He had the same idea, and has been researching and developing the best methods by which to create solid forms of our favorite adult beverages. However, his (thus far) favorite method was actually passed on to him by Lauren Mote, the mixology half of Kale & Nori Culinary Arts, a Vancouver-based catering service. Click here to get the details at Camper’s Alcademics blog, but it basically centers around boiling down spirits to reduce the amount of water, and then agitating the resulting syrup until it begins to crystallize into a very adult-friendly form of rock candy. Once the syrup has been turned out onto a silicone mat and cools, just break it up into rocks and pulverize it in the spice grinder of your choice for a powdery libation, a la these campari crystals:
So a couple weeks ago I was driving here in Baltimore and I passed this billboard:
WTF?! Is this what marketing in the 21st century has been reduced to? The implication here is that eating these chips will allow the consumer to metaphorically “man up”, but at the expense of their own physical well-being.
I’m not trying to be preachy about the actual content of the bag, either; I enjoy a processed chip as much as the next American. My issue is with the marketing. And at first I thought this was sort of a one-off instance of threatening food.
Then I saw the Doritos billboard.
Unfortunately I was unable to find a picture of it online, and am much too lazy to drive the five miles back to where I saw it (I ate a lot of Ruffles for some reason and am now very sleepy), but I did poke around and found that Ruffles is really just playing catch-up.
I remember these from when I was a kid:
Look how much fun that bag is! Bright colors, innocuous “taco” flavor, and a cute little sombrero to top it all off! Adorable! Put it in my belly.
Guess what? In the last 30 years, shit has got real.
Collisions! Flavors smashing into one another, in the bag and in your mouth! But hey, I get it; it’s kinetic. It’s dynamic. It’s intended to make you feel active, even though it’s marketed to the most sedentary among us (full disclosure: I sit on my ass all day looking for pictures of snack chips and drawing cute animals & monsters. I AM the most sedentary among us.)
But sometimes you want a little something extra, a little kick in your taste buds’ nuts:
1st degree burns. Nothing too scary. Some pain, some redness. Clears up in about a week.
Wait, what? You want more? Um, OK.
2nd degree burns. A little more pain, some blisters, about 2-3 weeks for recovery. It looked rough there for a while, but you should make it.
I’m sorry, what’s that? Again? Wow, you really are a glutton for punishment (literally AND figuratively!)
3rd degree burns! You’re f#@ked! Scarring, dead nerves, possible amputation…well, you DID ask for it. Fire IS fire.
Unless, of course, it COMES OUT OF A F#@KING DRAGON’S MOUTH:
That’s right, Wasabi Doritos! Nothing could be hotter and more painful than that! That’s bananas! Bananas that are on fire!
Wait, there’s something hotter/more painful/less fun than flaming bananas being spit out of a dragon’s mouth?
Oh. Right. The nuclear option. I suppose that’d f@#k some shit up. Even a dragon.
Oh well. At least it’s just my taste buds being affected by all this extreme flav—
Wait, WHAT?!
F@#k you and the dragon you rode in on, Doritos. I’m switching to something healthier and less aggressive; I just can’t stay in this abusive relationship any longer.
F@#k.
(Via the huge agribusiness trying to kill us, the internet, and FastCompany.com)
One of the cruel realities of life in the internet age is that while Rebecca Black gets recording contracts for filming three and a half minutes of shame, a single second of Conan O’Brien’s run on NBC might actually never make it onto the web.
One of my absolute favorite segments from Late Night with Conan O’Brien was “Practical Jokes On Inanimate Objects”, wherein Conan and his sideman Andy Richter would place inanimate objects in incongruous places, my favorite of the bunch being when they placed a stand-fan inside a meat locker, all the while giggling before explaining to the viewing audience “what this fan doesn’t realize…is that it’s already COLD in there!”
When my friend Adrienne linked me to the image above a couple months ago, it totally reminded me of that same sort of absurdist humor. Click here for NPR’s full staff analysis, but just to sate you while the page loads, here’s a snippet:
This isn’t the first time we’ve had to go up to the counter and make an unorthodox order, but today’s sandwich elicited a bigger reaction than I’ve ever seen before. I called the look on the short order cook’s face “contempt,” while Eva said it was more like “dismay.” Either one is an appropriate reaction when someone asks for “a veggie burger with bacon on top,” or as it’s known in sandwich circles, “The Hypocrite.”
p.s.-If anyone knows where I can view that old Late Night clip and links me to it in the comments, I will be eternally grateful. ETERNALLY!
How could you want to drown/irradiate/bury under rubble a culture so amazing that it created this?
By the way, I’m pretty sure I’d stop eating my lunch if one of my soybeans started up a conversation with me, too.
Furthermore, if that island chain gets any more irradiated, I’m betting that by next harvest, edamame really WILL have eyes and the capacity for speech.
I always feel like Himalayans look like Yoda-sized Wilford Brimleys. And the way this dude is chowing down, he should probably wash everything down with some Quaker Oats. Watch to the end for actual video…though the stills are very much worth it!
Have an awesome weekend guys! Be sure to pass the word about the fundraiser. Only 8 days left!
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