After literally months of work, I can proudly present my new line of billfold wallets! They’re made in the U.S.A., 100% cruelty-free, and super-durable — not to mention quite stylish! The interior features a large billfold slot for cash, as well as four smaller slots for ID and credit cards.

We decided to start small with the number of designs, but will be adding to these inaugural six in the coming months. A very big thank you to all of the friends and fans we tapped for feedback and help with the design choices and color selections!

In addition to the Fuzz Aldrin’s Astro Camp wallet shown above, you can now carry your cash in style inside my Cupcake Ninjas vs. Teeth wallet:

Or you can have those seafaring rapscallions the Pirate Bunnies guard your booty:

Or choose my cute little Retro Robots for the most efficient storage of funds:

Or my Classic Horror Movie Monsters could scare off any potential pick-pockets:

But if you really just need some help getting around, there’s always my handy-dandy Wonderland Metro Map:

Be sure to click through to each product page for additional pictures — some of these even feature different scenes inside the billfold!

Although I do the actual drawings around here, many of the design concepts come from my wife. She’ll be fast to tell you that she can’t even draw a stick figure but she’s creative nonetheless. On a typical weeknight you’ll find us curled on the couch with a bottle of wine watching Rachel Maddow. (When I say a bottle of wine literally we’re usually drinking from the bottle, wino-style, because we’re too lazy to hand wash our delicate wine glasses. Is that wrong?)  The other night this commercial for Scott Trade came on and my semi-drunk sweetie giggled and said “Unicorn ranch… hehe… that’s funny. Matt, draw a unicorn ranch!”  Really, this is how a lot of the design ideas come to life around here.

Any way, how was your weekend? I spent mine prying SPCA donations from our friends with liquor and cupcakes. (s’mores, mint chocolate, margarita,  rum raisin and vanilla chai, om nom nom)

I can’t send you cupcakes through the intertubes but I will send you a nifty keychain bottle opener if you help me raise some more cash for the critters. (Now through April 17th I’m donating 100% of the proceeds from bottle opener sales to the MD SPCA.)

We bake a lot of cupcakes here at Ex-Boyfriend HQ and if there’s one thorn in our side, it’s getting hot cupcakes out their pan. In a perfect world our imaginary Upcake Baking Cups would exist. Actually, they probably will, and Reynolds will probably steal our invention, but we don’t have a third world factory full of children to make stuff for us, so that makes it tough for us to act on the idea ourselves. Also, we like making tees more anyway. This doesn’t mean we don’t like making funny commercials, so below is the commercial you’d see on TVs nationwide if we could make our Upcakes a reality.

I am going to be honest with you, some cupcakes were harmed in the filming of this video. But their deaths were not in vain. They went on to feed some hungry squirrels.