I’m feeling a bit saucy today so I thought I’d tell you a little about some naughty cocktails. Here are 5 drinks that’ll make you do your best Michael Scott impression. “That’s what she said.”

Sex on the Beach
The ultimate chick drink with a naughty name, made with vodka, peach schnapps, orange juice and cranberry juice. How it got it’s name is not entirely clear although it’s a relatively new drink. One story claims it was named after the William Kennedy Smith trial (ew).

Dirty Martini
An otherwise traditional, olive-garnished Martini that includes a certain amount of olive brine. I guess the brine is what makes it “dirty”. I was once at a bar with a guy who asked the bartender to make him something “dirty”. He got a dirty martini of course. This one had a cocktail onion in it. Mid-conversation the guy absent-mindedly plucked the onion from his glass and ate it. He thought it was a grape. If only I’d had a camera to capture the look on his face.

Redheaded Slut
Made of peach schnapps, Jagermeister and cranberry juice, this shooter is sweet.  The redheaded slut was purportedly invented by a bartender at Captain Tony’s Saloon (formerly Sloppy Joe’s) in Key West, Florida, which keeps a wall plaque to commemorate the event.

Orgasm
This naughty sounding drink has a few different variations. One of those forms is remembered by “being made on your B.A.C.K.”, or made with Bailey’s, Amaretto, cream, and Kahlúa, with each ingredient having a one part measure.

Skip and Go Naked
This is a party punch with a party of a name. To make it combine combine 6 12-oz. cans of cold beer, 1 pint Canadian whiskey and a 12-oz. can of frozen lemonade concentrate in a punch bowl. Stir and serve.

What’s your favorite naughty cocktail? Can you order it with a straight face?

Did anyone else catch the amazing article on Slate last week about the US government’s poison-the-citizens initiative during prohibition? Apparently the US government was so angered by illegal booze consumption that officials ordered the poisoning of industrial alcohol. (Industrial alcohol was regularly stolen by bootleggers and resold as drinkable spirits.) The government believed this scare tactic would get people to give up the drink. Instead, the poisoning killed an estimated 10,000 people. Way to go, Uncle Sam. Any one else thankful to be living in a time where we can enjoy a cocktail without the government trying to kill us over it? I’ll toast to that.

And what shall we drink? How about a Poisoned Apple?

Just combine 1 oz rum with 1 oz Sour Apple Pucker. Top off with Sprite and serve over ice.

If you’re like me, you’ve spent a good part of your week shoveling snow in the frigid winter air. After a few back breaking hours of manual labor, it’s time to unwind with a drink. A crisp refreshing vodka tonic isn’t quite the right way to go. When it’s this cold outside, you need something a take the chill off. My suggestion is a Nutty Siberian. Yes, I just made it up. It’s got vodka (Russian) and hazelnut (nutty), thus it’s a Nutty Siberian. Here’s what’s in it:

Nutty Siberian
5 oz very hot coffee from your French press
1 oz vanilla vodka (I use Stoli)
1 oz Frangelico
1 oz coffee liqueur
1 oz cream (or Silk non-dairy creamer if you’re vegan/lactose intolerant)

Combine the gredients in a cocktail shaker. Pour into a coffee mug and serve right away.

Note: If you normally keep your booze in the freezer you may want to pull it out and get it room temperature before you prepare your drink. Otherwise the chilled booze might take all the warmth out of your drinks.

For extra fanciness you can combine the top 4 ingredients in a shaker. Froth the cream separately and then use that to top off the drink.

Got a go-to cold weather cocktail? What’s your favorite?

Almost happy new year, all! If there’s ever a time to spring for some bubbly, it’s New Year’s Eve. Of course you can drink it from a flute, or straight outta the bottle if it’s that kind of party, but if you’re a cocktail connoisseur looking for something a little more adventurous than a mimosa, here are some options to ponder for tonight’s festivities.

Cosmopolitan Champagne Cocktail (via Epicurious)
1 1/4 cups Cointreau
1 1/4 cups cranberry juice cocktail
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
3 tablespoons superfine granulated sugar
4 cups chilled Champagne or other sparkling wine

Combine Cointreau, cranberry juice, lime juice, and the sugar. Chill the mixture until party time. When you’re ready to serve, divide the cocktail among 10 champagne flutes and top with champagne and a couple of skewered raspberries

Limoncello Sparkle (via Imbibe)
1 oz. limoncello
1/2 oz. Cointreau
Champagne

Combine limoncello and Cointreau in a shaker with ice. Shake moderately and strain into a chilled champagne flute. Top with Champagne and garnish with a lemon twist.

Mexican 75 (via Chow)
1 ounce blanco tequila, such as 7 Leguas
1/2 ounce fresh-squeezed lime juice
1/2 ounce agave nectar or Simple Syrup
4 ounces champagne

Combine tequila, lime juice, and agave nectar in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake vigorously until chilled, then strain into a champagne flute. Top with champagne and garnish with a lime twist.

P.S. If you’re worried about breaking the bank on bubbly, hit up Trader Joe’s. We scored several bottles of very tasty sparkling wine there for well under $10 each!