March 2, 2012

Fuzzy Friday: 3 Things Bukowski Loved — Booze, Swearing, and Cats. Not Necessarily In That Order.

Filed under: Fuzzy Friday — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 10:00 am


my cats

I know. I know.
they are limited, have different
needs and concerns.

but I watch and learn from them.
I like the little they know,
which is so

they complain but never
they walk with a surprising dignity.
they sleep with a direct simplicity that
humans just can’t understand.

their eyes are more
beautiful than our eyes.
and they can sleep 20 hours
a day
hesitation or

when I am feeling
all I have to do is
watch my cats
and my

I study these

they are my

-Charles Bukowski

(Image via, by way of Buzzfeed, courtesy of Liam and his human, Nick, who remind you to donate to your local SPCA or other no-kill shelter and/or rescue organization.)

December 8, 2011

Thirsty Thursday: It’s Got Tomato In It — That Means It’s Healthy, Right?

Filed under: Thirsty Thursday — Tags: , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 5:01 pm

I bookmarked this cocktail recipe a few weeks ago — I can’t remember if I found it via Liqurious or Serious Eats — but it’s ultimately courtesy of Olga at Mango & Tomato, a great foodie blog featuring original recipes and restaurant reviews from Olga’s adventures in food-tourism.

Much like Olga confesses in her post, as a kid I was more likely to spring for a glass of tomato juice or V8 (seasoned with a ridiculous amount of black pepper) than a milk shake or soda.

Unfortunately, really awesome Bloody Marys are hard to come by. I tend to hate pre-maid mixes, and usually “fresh” ones consist of little beyond ice, tomato juice, rail vodka, and a sad stalk of celery.

This one, Naked Jay Vodka’s “Slippery Tomato”, sounds awesome though:

Slippery Tomato
1.57 ounces of Naked Jay Dill Pickle Vodka
3 ounces tomato juice
1/2 ounce olive juice {from a jar of olives}
2 dashes Worcestershire sauce
2 dashes celery salt
2 dashes black pepper
Combine all ingredients, pour into a glass, garnish with a pickle slice (shown garnished with pickle spear, olive, and celery stalk), and enjoy!
(Thanks to Olga at Mango & Tomato!)

March 21, 2011

Mystery Monday: A Whale Of A Time

So much new art to share with you today, you guys. First, there’s Whale Trip, a lysergic odyssey of large proportions. Then, there’s International Boozing; the globe, re-imagined for those of us who do most of our cultural explorations with our livers:

But the art train doesn’t stop there! We have FIVE new designs from guest artist Hidden Eloise! The Last Red Rose, Baroness, The Pearl, Longing, and I’ll Make The Ocean My Home:

February 18, 2010

Thirsty Thursday: Whiskey breath is better than no breath at all.

Wow. Maybe old people are right when they whine about how much better the past was! I especially love that slogan: “Night-before feeling on the morning after.” This is a good thing? This is something people craved back in the day? “Gee, I really miss the refreshing, clean sensation of irresponsibility and danger I so thoroughly enjoyed last night… if only there was a product that captured that same feeling, but was socially acceptable for me to enjoy throughout the day?” The perfect lead-in to that three-martini lunch with the swell fellows from accounting!

Next stop: Wino-town. For serious alcoholics, the only reasonable follow-up would be this absinthe dental floss. Lushtastic.

February 4, 2010

Thirsty Thursday: On The Gender of Adult Beverages

Filed under: Thirsty Thursday — Tags: , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 10:25 pm

Because I refer to colors as “Prussian blue” or “pewter” and tend to wear a lot of argyle, I’ve become pretty adept at defending my masculinity throughout my life. But I never imagined I’d have to do so against my own wife.

A few months ago she scoffed at me when I ordered myself a White Russian. Apparently White Russians fall squarely into the “Girly” category of adult beverages. This came as news to me, considering that The Big Lebowski played an integral role in my transition from boyhood to manhood. Here’s a guy who roadied for Metallica, knocks up Julianne Moore, listens to CCR and makes liberal use of the F-word in his daily discourse. Sounds pretty freaking manly to me.

But NOOOOO, ordering a White Russian puts me one cocktail umbrella and/or sword away from being a girl drink drunk.

And thus, an oldie (but a goody.)

White Russian:

1 1/2 oz Vodka
3/4 oz Kahlua
3/4 oz Light Cream or Milk

Add ice to an old-fashioned glass.
Mix the vodka and Kahlua together then float the cream on top.

What do you say readers? White Russian is a manly libation or is it strictly for the ladies? What exactly makes it girlie anyway?

January 14, 2010

Thirsty Thursday: DIY Wino Wine

Filed under: Thirsty Thursday — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — ex-boyfriend @ 9:15 am

My wife brought this product to my attention the other day, and it’s about as compelling as a train wreck; it’s extremely disturbing on a couple of levels, but also gnarly in a cool way, making me want to experience it myself, if only to survive it.

Spike Your Juice™ is a revolutionary home fermenting kit, created to allow you, the average consumer, to turn your favorite juice beverage into a fizzy, boozy libation. I’m envisioning a cross between the Izze brand softdrinks and Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill.

I have to admit that this is about as enticing as it gets for me; I love booze, and have often thought about getting into home brewing, but it’s an expensive hobby, and is essentially an exercise in delayed gratification. For those of you who arrived late, I design t-shirts about drinking, making out and eating donuts for a living—I don’t do delayed gratification. It’s for suckers.

But now, thanks to “a group of Europeans living in California” (specificity is for wusses!), I can turn any ol’ bottle of cran-grape into a delicious jug o’ moonshine. My dreams are about to become realities!

That said… why is this stuff marketed and packaged as though it’s meant for children? There is Comic Sans all over the box! It’s peppered with bouncing balls and fizzy bubbles! It’s covered in bold, bright colors! Everything about this product’s packaging screams “Hey kids, let’s have some FUN!” Then again, my mother’s preferred method of lulling me to sleep as a child when we had guests over involved footy PJs and a Bartles & James wine cooler….