April 7, 2011

Thirsty Thursday: Stuff Drunk People Like

April 4, 2011

Mystery Monday: Six Coworkers From Hell

Sometimes I miss certain coworkers from my previous jobs. While I am in no way suggesting that being a member of the workforce is in any way the same as fighting in a war (support our troops an’ all that), it can’t be denied that there is a bond formed when you go through particularly harrowing days or weeks at the office. I suspect that for most people, it’s that camaraderie that gets them to go back each day (that, and we all need to put food on our families. Cash rules everything around us, no?)

However, typically those work-comrades make up a pretty tiny percentage of the fools and trolls we have to put up with on a daily basis. The rest of them often fall into one of the the following six categories:

Post your most awful coworker anecdote in the comments section! Winner gets an “awww” and a cyber-pat-on-the-back from me!

March 28, 2011

Mystery Monday: How To Find Your Ideal 80s Boyfriend

Sixteen Candles, Pretty In Pink, The Breakfast Club, and Some Kind of Wonderful have all been making the rounds on TV in the last few weeks. Even Ferris Bueller’s Day Off was on Saturday night. All of this John Hughes-mania got me to thinking: how would one go about finding out who their ideal 80s iconic boyfriend is? Using my recently-busted Final Four bracket as an inspiration, here’s my flow chart for helping you find out!

Apologies to Farmer Ted for the omission, but head-gear and panty profiteering gets an immediate disqualification. Also, I could probably do one of these entirely comprised of characters John Cusack played: Lane Meyer, Lloyd Dobler, Walter “Gib” Gibson, Hoops McCann, Bryce (in Sixteen Candles), Denny LaChance (Stand By Me)…dude was everywhere!

November 8, 2010

Meet the Fans Monday: Tony & Adrienne

Filed under: Ex-Boyfriend Nation — ex-boyfriend @ 6:45 pm

Today stylish Baltimore couple Adrienne and Tony are answering a few questions for us. Above you can see Adrienne in her Red Riding Hood tee. Tony is wearing Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Tell us about your pop culture guilty pleasures?
TONY: DIY Network design shows. My favorite is probably “Yard Crashers.”

ADJ: I’m a big fan of anything that animated that includes Brendon Small. I also watch a few shows on Bravo – “Bethany Getting Married?” and the “Rachel Zoe Project.” Tony insists I’m better than that, but he’s wrong.

What websites do you frequent around the internets?
TONY: Adult Swim – I like to catch up on shows I’ve missed.

ADJ: I’m often on Facebook or managing my own blog (Tattoos & Champagne). Then there’s NPR for news, NCBI ROFL for nerd news, and Pink is the New Blog for junk news. I’m also a huge rugby fan, so I usually visit the All Black’s web site or rugby news sites from New Zealand.

Five current favorite songs, albums, or musical artists:
TONY: Depeche Mode, New Order, Radiohead, Muse, and 90’s super group the Wu Tang Clan.

ADJ: Fav artists? The Beatles, Stevie Wonder, Adele, Corinne Bailey Rae, and Jason Mraz.

When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grow up?
TONY: A fireman.

ADJ: Really?

TONY: Yeah. Astronaut would have been cool, too.

ADJ: I wanted to be a doctor, which would have been a epic failure given how reliably I faint at the site of blood.

TONY: {laughs}

If you could have any super power what would it be?
ADJ: Can I be Captain Obvious? I’d have the power to make people use their common sense.

TONY: I would totally fly.

ADJ: How come?

TONY: Why? Cause I want to fly!

Most regrettable fashion decision you ever made?
ADJ: When you had long hair.

TONY: That’s a good one.

ADJ: And there was that time when I decided to wear my hair in braids.

TONY: You don’t say! Braids, huh?

Hey, it’s November already! Tell us about your most and least favorite Thanksgiving eats?
TONY: My least favorite is cranberry sauce?

ADJ: What??

TONY: Did I stutter? I’m very open about this.

ADJ: Fascist. And your favorite?

TONY: It’d have to be the stuffing. Although the yams and the potatoes…yum….

ADJ: I’m all about my family’s corn pudding. And the menagerie of pie. Last year my mom tried out some traditional Asian foods, which was fine up until I tried the fish cake. Not a mistake I’ll be repeating this year.

What type of tees do you hope we design next?
TONY: Aliens that are animals. Like giant cat aliens. Or Admiral Ackbar.

ADJ: Maybe some graffiti tees. Or robots.You can’t go wrong with robots!

If you want to show off your Ex-Boyfriend look on our blog and answer some interview questions I’d be much obliged. Just send in your photo. Be sure to send me your mailing address so I can send you a little thank you.

September 27, 2010

Meet the Fans Monday: Say Hello to Kimberly

Filed under: Ex-Boyfriend Nation — ex-boyfriend @ 6:22 pm
If you visit here regularly, you know how much I love meeting you guys, even if it’s just virtually. Kim in Portland, OR was kind enough to send us a photo rocking her new Fuzz Aldrin Hoodie and answer a few questions.

Tell us about your pop cultural guilty pleasures:

Star Trek! And all things nerdy sci-fi.

My current television one is Buffy the Vampire Slayer (the series). I’d never ever watched it before, but it’s one of my mother’s favorites, and so I promised her I would give it a try. It’s really a lot better than I’d ever given it credit for! I’m also a gigantic LOST fan. Any way that this show connects with pop culture (blogs; t-shirts; parodies), I’m on it!

As far as pop music goes, I recently got turned on to OK Go; they’re so much fun. Also revisiting Michael Jackson and Madonna — I never was into them when I was a teenager, but now I guess it satisfies my pop-nostalgia!

Favorite websites to visit:
Ex-Boyfriend; huffingtonpost; TelevisionWithoutPity (TWOP); Savage Chickens; Natalie Dee; one friend’s site, which is called CraftyPants Carol’s Fancy Crafty World; any site having to do with LOST and LOST-theories.

First job?
Outside the illegal child labor I performed as a young babysitter, my first ‘real’ job where I actually paid taxes was waitressing at age 16 for the Greenery Family Restaurant in Michigan, where I went to high school.

Beer, wine, or liquor?
Oh, wow, I can take all three most any time, but typically I prefer beer.
Beer favorite: Alaskan Smoked Porter; or any good porter or stout; IPAs in summertime; pumpkin ales in the fall.
Wine: Any good red
Liquor: Vodka (recently have been trying blueberry — YUM)

If you could have a dinner party for any famous people, who would you invite?
I love space (the final frontier), astronomers, and physicists. So this means I want to invite Carl Sagan; Brian Greene; and Stephen Hawking. Thus my love, of course, for FUZZ ALDRIN!

Favorite place to visit?
Canada; also Ireland. Dream destinations that I’ve yet to visit are: Iceland; New Zealand; and VietNam. South America would be super, too.

Five current favorite songs, albums, or musical artists:
This is a very difficult question! It depends on my mood or the day of the week. Today, I’ll go with bands:
The Velvet Underground
The Pixies
Miles Davis
Stile Antico (medieval choral stuff)

Favorite visual artist(s)?
Vincent VanGogh, forever and ever. Also Pablo Picasso. I adore Surrealists as a rule, but love Salvador Dali and Rene Magritte.

How would you spend your lottery winnings?
Pursuing a graduate degree in theoretical linguistics; traveling the world (specifically New Zealand; Scandinavia; and parts of Asia).

Most regrettable fashion decision?
Ugh — my asymmetrical hair-cut, senior year of high school in 1985. It’s embarrassing now, but ’twas all the rage, once upon a time. 🙂

What new designs would you like to see from Ex-Boyfriend?
I love what you’ve done already! But I’m a sucker for cats and nature in general. Maybe a nice design where the animals turn tables on humans? Where the critters totally take over, reclaim the Earth? Good times.

If you want to show off your Ex-Boyfriend look on our blog and answer some interview questions I’d be much obliged. Just send in your photo. Be sure to send me your mailing address so I can send you a little thank you.

August 2, 2010

Meet the Boss Monday: Where Did This Blog Go?

So, those of you who read my blog regularly (all ten of you) may have noticed that I was MIA all last week. I wish I had a good reason for my lack of communication, but I don’t. The fact of the matter is, my wife was out of town (Way out of town. London, to be precise) last week, and if I’m being honest, it’s very difficult for me to stay on-task when she’s not around.

Tempting as it is to do the revisionist history thing and post a bunch of entries time-stamped for last week, let’s just pretend that it never happened (which is, in itself, a revisionist undertaking. Tautology! Look it up, kids. Also, what’s up with all the parentheticals today?)

Since only TWO of the aforementioned TEN readers have taken me up on my Meet the Fans Monday feature, I’ve decided to ease us back into the swing of things by interviewing myself. This exercise is two-fold: it give me a chance to mention Chuck Klosterman’s latest book Eating the Dinosaur, which examines the nature of the interview from the quasi-philosophical angle that Klosterman does so well, and it also allows me to talk about myself, which I love doing.

How did you first discover Ex-Boyfriend?
I started designing some stuff. It needed a name. And “The Beatles” was taken.

5 10 desert island musical artists?
Yikes! Idlewild, The Smiths, Waylon Jennings, The Who, The Beatles, The Cure, Miles Davis, Wilco, Elliott Smith, and Blur. I will rue this list on the days when I crave some Johnny Cash, Radiohead and/or Oasis.

Tell us about your pop cultural guilty pleasures.
I don’t ever really feel guilty about the stuff that makes me feel good… but I suppose the stuff that is the most incongruous with my persona would be my appreciation of certain Britney Spears singles, Jane Austen novels, “good” romantic comedies (Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, When Harry Met Sally, etc) and Gossip Girl.

What kind of tees do you hope we design next?
The kind that sell a lot! Ideally, stuff with monsters and robots and critters. You know, the usual.

Favorite haunts on the web?
Alright, time for some true confessions… I’m a bit of a sports nut. Not exactly the sort of thing you’d guess based on my job, wardrobe, haircut, listening habits, etc. But I LOVE baseball and football. So a lot of the places I visit deal with sports. Pretty much every one of the Yahoo! Sports blogs is choice. Fangraphs.com. CamdenChat.com. All are pretty entertaining reads. But I also love to drop in on chromewaves.net, because Frank Yang and I share a lot of the same taste in music (and I like free mp3’s), videogum.com is excellent because Gabe is one of funniest bloggers I’ve ever read. And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention andiamnotlying.com, which is partially contributed to by my friend David William, who is an amazing artist “living the dream” in hipper-than-hip Brooklyn. And of course tastespotting and liquorious!

Do you have any pets? What are they, what are their names?
I think this is pretty well-documented, but I’m pwned by two cats, Oliver and Bigby. And let’s not forget the seemingly never-ending parade of foster animals.

If you had a time machine, where in history or the future would you go?
The future. To paraphrase Brian Fellows, I don’t do dinosaurs.

Beer, liquor, or wine (be specific)?
Beer and wine are more or less in a dead heat. I love a good Belgian-style wheat beer, but I also like a nice, flavorful copper, amber or red ale. As far as wines, I’ve graduated from the “I only drink whites” camp to almost exclusively reds. I tend to shy away from the drier stuff—no merlots for me, thanks. I like a nice full-bodied shiraz, cabernet savignon, malbec, or pinot noir.

What’s the first thing you notice about the ladies (or dudes if you prefer them)?
Teeth/smile. I can look past a lot of physical flaws, but bad teeth are pretty egregious.

Cake, pie or cookies (ice cream and candy are also acceptable, but be specific)?
This is tough! I love Starbursts. I like cupcakes a lot (though I’m pretty no-frills; plenty happy with vanilla-on-vanilla), and certain pies really get me going (key lime, blue berry, pumpkin, pecan). I appreciate a well-done cookie, but they’re more of a stop-gap dessert in my book—a sort of “well, if there’s nothing else around” treat. My wife’s cherry cheesecake is pretty awesome, as is her pumpkin cheesecake topped with toasted pecans and caramel-bourbon sauce.

July 15, 2010


I apologize for the crappy quality of this pic (and post; I’m severely hung over). What you see before you is supreme dedication.

While I was out with my wife and friends last night, a guy came over to our table and literally asked for the shirt off my back. Apparently his lady-friend (pictured above) loves penguins, and liked my Penguins In Love design so much that she had him ask me for it. Typically I wouldn’t have taken off my shirt in a bar, but they actually had a free crappy over-sized Bud Light tee of some kind to give me in exchange, so I wouldn’t be left shirtless. Since I’m all about going the extra mile for you guys, I gave this girl the shirt off my back. And since I rarely go out without one of my own tees on my body, you guys also stand a very good chance of coming away with a very sweaty cool free t-shirt of your own if you happen upon me. (Chances are especially good if I’ve been drinking.) Just keep an eye out for me; I’ll be the guy in the Ex-Boyfriend shirt complaining about the state of the Baltimore Orioles baseball club.

P.S. I’m too hungover today to talk about booze with any enthusiasm, so instead I’ll just point you to Fork Party’s list of 11 Terrible Hangover Cures. Here’s hoping your Thirsty Thursday is less headachey than mine.

June 14, 2010

Meet the Fans Monday: Say Hello to Melinda

Filed under: Ex-Boyfriend Nation — ex-boyfriend @ 11:19 am
I’m doing interviews with some of the awesome people who wear Ex-Boyfriend apparel and today we’re chatting with Melinda from Los Angeles, CA. You can see her to the left in her Man Walking Dinosaur t-shirt, which she recently rocked on her vacation to London. (You can also sometimes see her commenting around this blog :))

Tell us about your pop culture guilty pleasures.
I claim not to own a TV.  And technically, I don’t.  But I religiously go to hulu.com on the computer for my weekly doses of “The Office”, “30 Rock” and “House”.  Those are the shows I publicly admit to.  But I also indulge in “Grey’s Anatomy”, and have even gotten sucked into its spinoff “Private Practice”.  Don’t judge!

Favorite haunts on the web?
The following websites are frequent stops on my weekly internet travels:
videogum.com, asofterworld.com, xkcd.com, likecool.com, laist.com, freewillastrology.com, and did you know Carrie Fisher has a blog? carriefisher.com!

And, of course, occasionally I feed my inner narcissist and hit up www.melindafarrar.com…   : )

What was the first job you ever had?
My first official paycheck came from Cinemark Theaters–Lexington Green Movies 8, back in my hometown in Kentucky.  I shoveled popcorn, sold movie tickets, and fielded daily complaints about the overpriced candy selection.  I also learned that the first batch of popcorn popped in the mornings is mixed in with all the old popcorn left over from the night before.  (keep that in mind the next time you hit a matinee…)

Beer, liquor or wine?
I love wine– not only because of how delicious it is, but also because I love sipping a glass and then describing it.  (a fruity innocence, earthy undertones, deceptively bold with hints of reluctance…)  Although, I can also never go wrong with a whiskey & ginger ale.

If you could have a dinner party for any famous people, who would you invite?
Tina Fey, Hugh Laurie, Jason Bateman, Paul F Tompkins, Zach Galifianakis, Thom Yorke and The Smothers Brothers.  Next question!

Favorite place to visit?
I’m a big fan of the UK.  In fact, I was just in London a few weeks back.  In fact, I believe you have photographic evidence of it.  (I was so glad I brought some t-shirts.  It was uncharacteristically hot and sunny the whole time we were there…)

What’s on your CD player or MP3 playlist right now?
One of my favorite bands is The Clientele– A bunch of their stuff is currently in heavy rotation on my ipod in my car.

What would you do with one million dollars?
Rent a decent studio space for printmaking, treat myself to weekly pilates classes and massages, buy all organic food and do a lot more traveling.  I would also rent a big beach house somewhere and fly my father, sister, aunts/uncles and cousins out for a long weekend.  I just realized that I didn’t say “quit my job”.  Oh well, with all the traveling I’d be doing, I’d probably get fired anyway.  Problem solved?

Most regrettable fashion decision you ever made?
There’s a snapshot of me that exists from the early nineties where I am wearing loafers, tapered, high-waisted stone washed jeans, a giant oversized black Phantom of the Opera t-shirt (tucked in) and floppy blue denim hat (a la Blossom).  And I think I have a perm.  Does that answer that question?

What kind of tees do you hope we design next?
I enjoy images of record players and old typewriters…

Keep on truckin’, Ex-Boyfriend!

If you want to show off your Ex-Boyfriend look on our blog and answer some interview questions I’d be much obliged. Just drop me a line. Be sure to send me your mailing address so I can send you a little thank you.

May 10, 2010

Meet the Fans Monday: Say Hi to Matt

Filed under: Ex-Boyfriend Nation — ex-boyfriend @ 11:00 am

Matt’s wearing an Urban Cupid T-shirt
Since I don’t get out much, I don’t often run into all the cool people who wear Ex-Boyfriend tees and accessories. Thus I’m virtually meeting some of you here on the blog.

If you want to show off your Ex-Boyfriend look on our blog and answer some interview questions drop me a line. Be sure to send me your mailing address so I can send you a little thank you. In the meantime, meet Matt from Fredericton NB. Our little interview is below 🙂

How did you first discover Ex-Boyfriend?
I originally found a few shirts from Ex-Boyfriend on a website called ShopIndie.

5 desert island musical artists?
I’ll assume this means I’m marooned on a desert island with 5 artists of my choice. And in making an ass out of u and me, I’ll say, Emily Haines, Tim Armstrong, Greg Graffin, Paul McCartney, and Shad. They should keep me from getting bored, and they can help me build a boat!

Tell us about your pop cultural guilty pleasures.
I sometimes wake up early when my room mates aren’t home to watch Live with Regis and Kelly.

What kind of tees do you hope we design next?
I’ve been looking for a bad ass owl t-shirt lately.

Favorite haunts on the web?
The internet is haunted?!

Do you have any pets? What are they, what are their names?
I do have pets! I have a chinchilla named Andrea, a lovebird named Faye, and a chameleon named Lemon. And some fish, the don’t have names, just titles (the fat one, the spotty one, etc.)

If you had a time machine, where in history or the future would you go?
I’m pretty sure I’d just go ride a dinosaur.

Beer, liquor or wine (be specific)?
A year ago I’d have said liquor. I was never big on wine, but lately I’ve gotten a taste for beer. Guiness, and Alexander Keiths are my favorites, but there are still quite a few I haven’t tried.

What’s the first thing you notice about the ladies (or dudes if you prefer them)?
Not to sound too bland or cliche, but usually their face. After that it varies, shoes, pants, or skirt, hair, whichever stands out the most from person to person.

Cake, pie or cookies (ice cream and candy are also acceptable, but be specific)?
Pie for sure. I like cake and cookies, but I’m pretty old fashioned, so a cup of tea and a piece of Dad’s home made lemon pie is good enough for me.

March 9, 2010

New Art! Exploring Wonderland

I worked on some new illustrations over the weekend inspired by Alice in Wonderland (the rabbit isn’t new, he’s just Wonderland-related). Enjoy.

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