I went a little nuts this afternoon when a friend forwarded this to me. As most people who know me personally are aware, I have a bit of a thing for making fun of Juggalos. For those of you not in the know, a juggalo is a fan of Detroit-based shock-rap duo Insane Clown Posse. It’s a pretty tight-knit group of ex-cons, meth addicts and such that enjoy drinking Faygo, painting their faces in ghastly clown make-up, and ending any and all sentences with “an’ shit.” Sort of a microcosm of what Mike Judge was attempting to portray in Idiocracy.
The creator of this video, Scott Gairdner, is clearly an unrivaled genius. He should pull a Salinger, because this is without question his Catched In The Rye; it is, after all, better to burn out than to fade away.
Um, wtf? Seriously, I don’t think the WTF Wednesday “moniker” has ever been more apropos than in regard to this little wondrous snippet of interwebz magic. I find it kind of conflicting, too. While I think this girl’s actually published “book” (they must not have a word for zine in Iceland) is CRAMAZING, especially given the painstaking anatomical detail in the illustrations, it seems a bit tragic that such a relatively cute girl is so clearly insane and rabid with elf-lust.
Take heed, kiddies; this is what comes from a life lived in barren wastes listening to Bjork.
Having been alive for most of hip-hop’s history, I like to think that I have a modicum of an understanding of it (despite being a white kid from Northern Virginia with a predilection for indie-rock). At its core, hip-hop culture is represented by three basic pillars: b-boy dancing, graffiti art, and the synergy of rapping and turntablism. A lot of extraneous fluff has coalesced around these pillars over the last three decades, but the essential elements are as listed above.
One thing I’ve always assumed over the course of these last 30 years is that only white people could look foolish by appropriating the cultural touchstones and slang of hip-hop. Not so; witness:
I think the most distressing part of this is the involvement of “Lady STD Killa”. Killa? Seriously? Now we’re misspelling purposely misspelled words? Where’s the ‘H’ at the end? Ghostface and Masta do not approve. Wu Tang Financial just cashed in your portfolio at a loss.
The meteorologists are flat out losing their shit. I actually heard a Weather Channel anchor say “It’s all downhill from here” the other day. Are they even supposed to be saying that kind of thing? Check this guy out, he’s totally lost it:
Also admire the icicles outside my bedroom window, I could impale a polar bear with them. Which may be necessary at the rate things are going.
In the meantime, enjoy my 3 day forecast for the mid-Atlantic:
I “get” kawaii. I like cute stuff. I understand the appeal.
I also get irony. I am, after all, a postmodern Gen Y-er. To someone of my age and disposition, irony is the peas to my cynicism’s carrots.
So to combine the cuteness of kawaii with the irony that has been the life-blood of the last few generations seems like a no-brainer.
But something about kawaii-styled pooh smells funny (ZING!)
This is nothing against designer Undoboy, who has a much more impressive design resume than I do, and who seems to have a relatively concrete aesthetic that he works from and within.
But poop is poop. It is, quite literally, waste. And the deranged notion amongst kawaii enthusiasts that illustrating anything in a kawaii style makes it adorable, regardless of how noxious it actually is, is ridiculous. And while we’re calling spades spades, let’s also acknowledge that avoiding poop’s natural, um, “hue” in lieu of a more aesthetically-pleasing rainbow palette is cheating.
That said, be sure to be on the lookout for my upcoming design, “Pastel Vomit”. Two can play at this game, Undoboy!
I love when science solves problems no one really has. Take the case of this “food printer”. Dubbed “The Cornucopia”, this totally unnecessary gadget:
1. Gets loaded with canisters of all your favorite foods.
2. After you select a meal using Cornucopia’s touch screen, it assembles your gruel, er um, I mean dinner.
3. The process involves piping ingredients into a mixer and them “extruding” them. Yum.
It also tells you the calories and carbohydrate content of your meal. I am not sure caloric content will be a concern once I’m faced with a steaming pile of cucumber, ravioli and peanut butter mush. Thanks any way, science. I think I’ll just check my floor to see if I can find any stray potato chips:
The existence of the World Beard and Mustache Championships is actually not news to me; Kent Jones did a feature on the competition last Fall during his “Just Enough” segment on The Rachel Maddow Show.
What is news to me is that these “Olympics” are such a meticulously organized event that there are qualifiers to compete, like the Beard Team USA Nationals. Check this site out; some of these guys are actually alternates in case an injury occurs.
I guess what’s most surprising about this hirsute subculture, at least at first, is that there are actually cash prizes involved (I wonder if I can get the wife behind a decade of no shaving if there’s money involved….) But think about it: these beards and moustaches represent a lot of time, dedication and maintenance. So does the luge.
Today’s WTF Wednesday is a double dose, because there’s lots of weird stuff to share. First up, Star Wars themed burlesque, because apparently sexy girls in and of themselves aren’t enough to excite men? If you’re in LA and want to see a topless C3PO have at it I guess?
In other totally unrelated WTF news, remember last month when the mayor of Copenhagen made a fuss about how the environmental summit crowd should save the planet by avoiding the city’s prostitutes? This puritanical posturing seems like quite a far cry from the country’s bizarre attempt at viral marketing.
VisitDenmark put out a video featuring an attractive young Danish woman claiming that she was looking for the father of her baby — a tourist she had a drunken one night stand with. So I guess the message was supposed to be something along the lines of “Denmark: come for the beer, stay for the unprotected sex with our loose women?” I like how, in the video, she say she hasn’t been with anyone but this tourist, so he must be the father. That’s right, hot Danish girls are saving themselves for unsafe sex with drunk tourists.
When asked about this major marketing fail, VisitDenmark’s spokeswoman said “Karens story shows that Denmark is a free place with space for you to be who you want. The film is good exposure for Danish self sufficient and dignified women.” WTF?! Naturally, response to this video was less than favorable and VisitDenmark removed their video, but you know how it is, once in cyberspace, always in cyberspace. You can enjoy the WTFery below:
Would this actually make people want to visit Denmark?
As a child of the 80s, I am a huge fan of the Back II The Future trilogy. So much so that I will defend its superiority over the original Star Warstrilogy to my dying breath. Outside of the ‘Roswell That Ends Well’ episode of Futurama, it may be the single most cohesive and understandable explanation of the basic principles of space-time (I have no scientific documentation to back that claim up).
So it was with a mixture of trepidation and glee that I watched Rachel Maddow interview game show legend Bob Barker on her nightly MSNBC show this evening. Rachel represents my adulthood perfectly: a precise mixture of geekiness and seriousness. While it would be a stretch to say that The Price Is Right played a defining role in my development as a child, I can say that it was easily the best part of staying home sick (outside of actually not going to school). Plinko, the showcase showdown, the grotesquely jiggling mothers of eight trundling down the studio steps, Bob’s strange magic wand-like microphone, announcer Rod Roddy looking like a methed-out Liberace—it was all I could do not to scream out prices in my football footy PJs, spitting Quaker Instant Oatmeal out of my mouth as I did so.
While the nature of Bob’s interview with Rachel was serious and no laughing matter, the surreality of the situation didn’t escape Rachel:
While I did find it a bit disconcerting how calm and measured Bob was in describing the dispute between the Japanese whalers and the Sea Shepherds as “war” (he seemed a bit medicated throughout the segment, but especially during that bit), I love that even in retirement the old guy is still working tirelessly as a conservationist. And I really appreciated Rachel allowing him the time to articulately explain his position on spaying and neutering domesticated companion animals in the U.S.; it’s one of the big reasons I find the culture of pedigree breeding so distasteful. My Silk Nog supplies are dwindling, but I’m raising a glass to Mr. Barker tonight.
While not exactly on the same brilliant level of Tampon in a Teacup from Ghost World, The Robert uses old books to create very cool art, both stand-alone and installation pieces. Definitely check out his online gallery or stop into one of his shows if he’s exhibiting in your ‘hood.
Hank Scorpio wants his familiar back!
And a quick congrats is in order to Sir Patrick Stewart, who was knighted in Queen Elizabeth II’s New Year Honors list. While most famous for his roles as Capt. Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise-D and Professor Charles Xavier, we all know that his greatest bow came in episode 12 of season 19 on Saturday Night Live.
Are you mad?! Do you know what you are flirting with?! I will feed your steaming organs to all the hounds of Hell! I will watch your eyes burn... til the cows come home!
