File this under “Yay, Feminism!”: Dr. Marie Catherine Klarkowski of Munich, Germany has implemented a new dress code at her dentistry practice as a result of witnessing the male response to the traditional low-cut Dirndl dresses worn by women during Oktoberfest. The dresses feature low-cut necks, which, coupled with the built-in bodices, act like push-up bras. However, this new direction in work-wear is about more than just providing her staff with a little extra support: “The most important thing for us is to take away the patients’ fear. The sight of cleavage gets patients narcotised and distracted from the pain rather quickly.” She added, “Some patients’ mouths are already wide open on entering the practice – and that is just what a dentist wants.”

There’s a “that’s what she said” in there somewhere—I’m sure of it.

“It could be that the cleavage is a little distracting, but in the end it’s me who has to concentrate and the patient can perhaps think about something different and relax during the treatment.” One of Dr Klarkowski’s employees, Larisa Hrustic, said, “I much prefer working in a dirndl; I enjoy looking good at work, and it’s a lot more fun since we had the new outfits.”

Really? Boners pressing into your mid-section while you hunch over patients to give them a less-obstructed view of your breasts while you scrape tartar is fun? That’s interesting, because it sounds a lot like you work at Hooters, but with more flossing involved.

On a barely-even-tangentially-related note, let’s switch from slutty dentists to slutty squirrels with my new Squirrels Gone Wild design. You can buy it now!

Regular readers will know that for the last three weeks I’ve had the immense pleasure of introducing designs by some truly great artists for my guest artist series. The series continues this week with Houston-area illustrator Heather Matter. You can learn more about Heather’s work at her blog, as well as check out other pieces at her Etsy shop.

1. Where are you from (both originally and currently)?
I grew up in a small suburban neighborhood outside of Houston, moved to Minnesota with my husband after graduating high school, and then we moved back to my hometown a few years ago.

2. Has that at all shaped you as an artist, or otherwise affected your creative processes?
Growing up near the coast has probably influenced my interest in the ocean and all of the mysteries that it has to offer. But where I’m from is mostly urban sprawl with little scenery, and I’m often dreaming of beautiful, dark forests, majestic snow-capped mountains and even arctic tundras. And anything that is far removed from reality. I think my surroundings have forced me to draw from the well of my imagination in order to escape the uninspiring landscape of motels, shopping malls, office buildings, and the unbearable heat.

3. Can you let us know about some other visual artists that you admire and draw inspiration from?
Camilla d’Errico and Camille Rose Garcia. Japanese art, both past and current, has been a big influence, including the works of ukiyo-e painter Katsushika Hokusai. I have also been really inspired by Ernst Haeckel’s Art Forms From Nature; there is so much detail and accuracy in his work, it is stunning. And although there aren’t any specific photographers, I love abstract and macro photography, especially black and white.

4. How about non-visual artists (musicians, friends, family, public figures, filmmakers, writers, etc)?

Music, movies, and books are a huge source of inspiration for me apart from nature. Muse, Radiohead, and The Killers are what are playing right now, and I also listen to plenty of classical music as well. Sci-fi, fantasy, and horror movies are my favorite (even if they are terrible) and if you give me a good book to read you probably wont see me for days. If I’m not creating artwork, I am usually reading first, then doing what I should be doing second.

5. Did you receive any formal art training, whether it be in college, or elective classes in high school, middle school and so on?
I have been drawing since I was little, and I took art all through high school, but since then my formal training has included one photography class, one drawing class, and a brief oil painting class. So I am basically a self-taught artist. The idea of paying off student loans for the rest of my life never appealed to me. And I tend to change my mind frequently (no, seriously!), so trying to focus on one degree just seemed impossible. But I have always believed that you shouldn’t give up on educating yourself just because you can’t afford schooling or can’t make up your mind.

6. What’s your creative process like? Do you work in silence, or with music/TV/some other background noise on? Do you have a specific space set aside for working on art? What are your preferred mediums?
Ha! If I had a process I would be doing good. Every day is something new. Usually I start early in the morning with a cup of tea, put on some music that fits my mood and try to focus on one or two projects to get me through the day. Some days it’s sketching out ideas and creating line work, other days it’s Photoshop. But most of my ideas form in the short period of time between when my head hits the pillow and I fall asleep. I’ve done a lot of my work using pen and ink, but right now I’m experimenting with the fluidity of watercolors. And I am lucky enough to have a room for my own studio, but I always end up in the kitchen/living area. From there I can look out into my backyard, and the birds and the squirrels always crack me up.

7. Do you have any pop cultural guilty pleasures you’d like to admit to?
Eh, not really. I don’t get into most of the obsessions that a lot of people do. Anything Sci-fi or fantasy is cool, and I do have to admit that I would love to go to ComicCon, but I’m not over the top obsessed. Over-marketing and commercialism turn me off to a lot of things.

8. What are some of your favorite web haunts? Any blogs or websites you’d like to turn more people on to?
I love National Geographic for the amazing photography and inspiration, and I’m frequently on Wikipedia looking up anything from the history of tarot cards to Ancient Egypt. I’m all over the place. I like everything. I’m also on Etsy and Flickr way too much.

9. Do you have any pets?
I have one amazingly crazy cat. She’s part-horse, part-monkey, and part-squirrel, with a little bit of cat thrown in. She is extremely talkative, likes to gallop around the house, and jumps to the tops of our doors. She’s a handful all on her own. I love all animals, especially the ones that are fuzzy and goofy!

10. Beer, wine, or liquor? Which kind (ales, porters, pilsners, reds, whites, rums, vodkas)?
If I could get drunk off of root beer I’d be an alcoholic. But I don’t drink.

11. If you had access to Doc Brown’s Delorean in Back to the Future, when in time would you go?
I probably wouldn’t be able to make up my mind! Definitely any time before I was born. I don’t feel the need to relive any moments of my past, but maybe I would want to see what life was like here before the states were colonized. And I think visiting the 1920’s would be fascinating. There was so much going on in that era.

12. Cake, pie or cookies (ice cream and candy are also acceptable, but be specific)?
If cheesecake were a drug, I would have overdosed a long time ago. It’s killer.

First there was Melinda Farrar. Then Ginger Nielsen. Last week, it was Fee Harding. This weeks, we keep the guest artist ball rolling with Andrea Zuill, whose playful and cartoonish illustrations make me squeal with delight! Check out her squirrel and magical unicorn designs:

Now say hi to Andrea!

1. Where are you from (both originally and currently)?
Born and raised in California. I started life in Bakersfield and currently live near San Diego.

2. Has that at all shaped you as an artist, or otherwise affected your creative processes?
Have you ever been to Bakersfield? Well you need a pretty good fantasy life to survive. (Ed. note: No, I haven’t, but my brother is currently courting someone who lives there, and he said basically the same thing. To be fair, at least it gave us Merle Haggard and Buck Owens.)

3. Can you let us know about some other visual artists that you admire and draw inspiration from?
I like the work of Mark Ryden and Camille Rose Garcia. Lucien Freud keeps my head straight. Bill Watterson of Calvin and Hobbes fame is my god. (Ed. note: It’s true; a lot of Andrea’s work has a very Watterson-esque flair to it.)

4. How about non-visual artists (musicians, friends, family, public figures, filmmakers, writers, etc)?
Music is very important to me. I can’t hardly create without music playing. I listen to Los Lobos, REM, Cake, Rogue Wave, and Beck.
I enjoy the work of the Coen Brothers. Their movies are near-perfect to me.

5. Did you receive any formal art training, whether it be in college, or elective classes in high school, middle school and so on?
I’ve taken one life drawing class, part of an oil painting class, and one beginning drawing class. I’m not a very good student.  I get bored easily which sometimes causes me to argue with the teachers. With one exception (my teacher Lori), art teachers can be real jerks. (Ed. note: this is true.)

6. What’s your creative process like? Do you work in silence, or with music/TV/some other background noise on? Do you have a specific space set aside for working on art? What are your preferred mediums?
I try not to think too much. Thinking is my enemy. I get  a flash of an image in my head then I try to get to a sketch pad asap. When I am creatively empty I search the net for images that will inspire me. I need noise to create. I need music when I paint or work on the computer. When I do my fiber art I watch TV.

7. Do you have any pop cultural guilty pleasures you’d like to admit to?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I love that show.  Documentaries on Bigfoot.  I’ve been keeping up with Bigfoot since I was little.  I have a big-time crush on Mike Rowe of Dirty Jobs. Did you know that he sometimes takes his shirt off on his show? It’s awesome.

8. What are some of your favorite web haunts? Any blogs or websites you’d like to turn more people on to?
I like simple pleasures in regards to web haunts. Daily I look at Cute Overload, Cake Wrecks, Engrish, Awkward Family Photos and Funny or Die to see Drunk History. When I get sad I go on YouTube and watch baby goats. You can’t stay sad after watching baby goats.

9. Do you have any pets?
I have an excellent dog named Homer,  2 cockatiels and 1 very evil parakeet.

10. Beer, wine, or liquor? Which kind (ales, porters, pilsners, reds, whites, rums, vodkas)?
I don’t drink liquor. My family doesn’t do very well with liquor. But, I do like a mean ginger ale. You know, the kind that makes your nose bleed from the fumes. (Ed. note: any beverage that causes bleeding from an orifice is not for me.)

11. If you had access to Doc Brown’s Delorean in Back to the Future, when in time would you go?
I am a history nerd. It might be boring, but I would like to see colonial America. Did you know that they used to crap out their windows if they where feeling lazy, or if they where feeling able they poured buckets of their waste in the street outside their houses? The good old days!

12. Cake, pie or cookies (ice cream and candy are also acceptable, but be specific)?
Cake, cake, and cake. I love cake. But it must have very good frosting or no frosting. Chocolate is my favorite, but I also like red velvet, carrot, Black Forest and almost any other type you can think of. I love to eat cake for breakfast. I even like it a little stale. I don’t eat a lot of cake because once I start I can’t stop.  I have actually done a series of cake paintings. It’s food porn for me.

Don’t forget to check out Andrea’s other pieces at her Etsy shop!

New designs! As usual, they’re all available in tees, onesies, bags, hoodies, etc.

It’s time for some new art, and today’s designs are especially exciting because one of them is part of our brand new guest artist program. Remember Melinda? She created this very awesome masterpiece and we’re selling it right here on Ex-Boyfriend!

Those who hang around here regularly know I’m no stranger to poking fun at religion, so Melinda’s fun with nuns was a perfect addition to the offerings around here. I might be featuring other awesome artists in the coming months. This guest artist thing is a new experiment. If you’re an illustrator and you’re interested in working with me, let me know.

I also have new art by yours truly. Check it out (this design is also on tees, hoodies and messengers of course):

Lastly, remember my post about the new boozy dietary supplement Drinkwel? The very awesome founder of Drinkwel has offered to send over a sample so I can report first hand on this scientific miracle. I have a feeling I’m going to have lots of good material for upcoming Thirsty Thursdays.

I’ll let you know where I’m planning to decimate my liver this week in case you care to stalk me around Baltimore and maybe try to steal the clothes off my back.

I finally got around to getting some new art online. Apologies for the lack of new designs, it’s been a busy summer. Below are the newest creations. I hope you dig them:

In other Ex-Boyfriend’ish news, Fall is coming! To keep you warm and stylish I’m looking into ordering some long sleeved tees. For the guys, I’m looking at American Apparel’s 4.3 oz cotton long sleeve jersey. For the ladies, I’m look at Bella’s 3.5 oz cotton long sleeve crew neck jersey. Both are fairly light weight cotton and nice for layering. Let me know what your interest level is like and if I get some good feedback I’ll make these available. If you know of some better blank or have other comments, let me know below, or just reply to the poll below.

In the meantime, here’s what the blanks I’m considering look like:

I’ve been designing lots of new shirts lately. Below are two of the newest ones:

Also, we now have tote bags! They’re perfect for the beach, overnights and of course as reusable grocery totes. (Guys: Let’s be honest, tote bags that look manly are few and far between. If we’re lucky they’ve got some tomatoes on them and if we’re not they’re pink and covered in flowers, right? The new totes collection is chock full of manly designs featuring stuff like hammers, Bigfoot and zombies. MAN STUFF!)

New art for your perusal…

I worked on some new illustrations over the weekend inspired by Alice in Wonderland (the rabbit isn’t new, he’s just Wonderland-related). Enjoy.

Today’s Mystery Monday is all about how to eat sushi properly, in case you care.

Via The Worlds Best Ever

In other news, NEW TEES! They’re about monkeys and tools. Fun.