This is one adorable puppy/kitty video. My only quibble is that the poor kitties are cast as the villains.

My tough relationship with Scotch has been well-documented in this blog. I keep trying to like it and I never manage to enjoy it. That said, I found a Scotchtail recipe on Liquorious that gives me some hope (see below). I’m pretty sure my purist Scotch loving friends would frown on this but fuck ‘em. Maybe I am just a teensy bit of a girl drink drunk. What of it?

Cocktail Culture’s April Cocktail

1 ½ Chivas Regal 12 yo

1 ½ oz. Ruby Grapefruit Juice

2 barspoons honey

Dash Grapefruit bitters

Stir the honey in the empty old fashioned glass. Add the whisky and continue until dissolved. Following the addition of the Grapefruit Juice, top with crushed ice.

My favorite the most terrifying thing about the internet is that there is a blog or website about EVERYTHING! It never ceases to amaze me what people will dedicate a blog to. So today I’m sharing a few gruesome, amusing and very specific finds.

It’s exactly what it sounds like, it’s an entire blog of photos of ladies with lasers shooting from their boobs. The images are classy though, naturally, kind of retro. It’s a little NSFW but it’s more PG-13 than XXX.

I know about this because I have a friend who admitted he likes watching Youtube videos of people popping pimples. Apparently this is a thing. There’s an entire blog about it — pictures and videos. People are into this. You can take a gander and fantasize about the career you’ve missed out on in dermatology.

I was a little grossed out looking at this site, and I didn’t stay for long, but I thought you’d all like to share in my horror. (Or perhaps fascination if you’re like my friend.)

Being an independent artist I’m down with the handmade movement. I like checking out other artists’ work. To be perfectly honest, half the fun comes from discovering amazing stuff and the other half comes from mocking terrible stuff. I can be really catty, but only in private with my nearest and dearest. I don’t think I could do an entire website about how other artists’ work sucks. This doesn’t mean I’m not amused by Regretsy because I totally am. Sodomy unicorns banjo case, really people?

Exactly how it sounds, boys + cats = awesome, right? My wife tells me I’m cute and I have cats, should I send in my picture?

Got a favorite bizarre website I should see? Let me know.

Add your captions for this photo below.

Image via Deantrippe

Although I do the actual drawings around here, many of the design concepts come from my wife. She’ll be fast to tell you that she can’t even draw a stick figure but she’s creative nonetheless. On a typical weeknight you’ll find us curled on the couch with a bottle of wine watching Rachel Maddow. (When I say a bottle of wine literally we’re usually drinking from the bottle, wino-style, because we’re too lazy to hand wash our delicate wine glasses. Is that wrong?)  The other night this commercial for Scott Trade came on and my semi-drunk sweetie giggled and said “Unicorn ranch… hehe… that’s funny. Matt, draw a unicorn ranch!”  Really, this is how a lot of the design ideas come to life around here.

Any way, how was your weekend? I spent mine prying SPCA donations from our friends with liquor and cupcakes. (s’mores, mint chocolate, margarita,  rum raisin and vanilla chai, om nom nom)

I can’t send you cupcakes through the intertubes but I will send you a nifty keychain bottle opener if you help me raise some more cash for the critters. (Now through April 17th I’m donating 100% of the proceeds from bottle opener sales to the MD SPCA.)

Should we be worried about this biped kitty? Is it the next step in cat evolution? My cats can already open doors and closets. The last think I need is them walking around on their hind paws, with their front paws free to do as they wish.

P.S. A big thanks to everyone who’s been helping us support the MD SPCA this month and buying bottle openers. Please keep spreading the word about our fundraiser so we can raise as much money for our fuzzy friends as possible. If you haven’t ordered yours yet, check ‘em out. They’re only $6.50, ship for free and 100% of the proceeds go to the Maryland SPCA.

I’m feeling a bit saucy today so I thought I’d tell you a little about some naughty cocktails. Here are 5 drinks that’ll make you do your best Michael Scott impression. “That’s what she said.”

Sex on the Beach
The ultimate chick drink with a naughty name, made with vodka, peach schnapps, orange juice and cranberry juice. How it got it’s name is not entirely clear although it’s a relatively new drink. One story claims it was named after the William Kennedy Smith trial (ew).

Dirty Martini
An otherwise traditional, olive-garnished Martini that includes a certain amount of olive brine. I guess the brine is what makes it “dirty”. I was once at a bar with a guy who asked the bartender to make him something “dirty”. He got a dirty martini of course. This one had a cocktail onion in it. Mid-conversation the guy absent-mindedly plucked the onion from his glass and ate it. He thought it was a grape. If only I’d had a camera to capture the look on his face.

Redheaded Slut
Made of peach schnapps, Jagermeister and cranberry juice, this shooter is sweet.  The redheaded slut was purportedly invented by a bartender at Captain Tony’s Saloon (formerly Sloppy Joe’s) in Key West, Florida, which keeps a wall plaque to commemorate the event.

Orgasm
This naughty sounding drink has a few different variations. One of those forms is remembered by “being made on your B.A.C.K.”, or made with Bailey’s, Amaretto, cream, and Kahlúa, with each ingredient having a one part measure.

Skip and Go Naked
This is a party punch with a party of a name. To make it combine combine 6 12-oz. cans of cold beer, 1 pint Canadian whiskey and a 12-oz. can of frozen lemonade concentrate in a punch bowl. Stir and serve.

What’s your favorite naughty cocktail? Can you order it with a straight face?

Alright, enough is enough. Your dog or cat is not a baby. I get that you love them. I totally love my fuzzy companions, I pet and snuggle and adore the heck out of them. I do not, however, actually think they are baby humans. I don’t tote them around in some kinda papoose and I sure as heck do not invite them to the dinner table.

I like the product description for this totally insane item. It reads “Satisfying a mutual desire for companionship, this high chair permits your dog or cat to accompany you at the dinner table.”  If you are that desperate for a companion consider making some friends. Get a roommate. Even getting a companion robot would be less ridiculous. I assure you, it’s not your companionship your pets are after during the dinner hour, it’s your food.

It goes on to say “By providing an alternative to sitting on your lap, running disruptively underfoot, or outright banishment, the chair assuages a pet (and its owner’s) frustration, and promotes more refined behavior.” Who are these people that are frustrated that Fifi and Fido can’t sit at the dinner table? Refined behavior? Seriously?

Also “Two tethers on the chair protect your dinner guests against any lapses in etiquette.” Lapses in etiquette? Like say inviting your dog to your dinner party?! WTF?!

But wait, this is my favorite “Folds for convenient storage and travel.” And travel?! Are they suggesting you should take this insane behavior out in public? Roll up to an Applebees with your pooch in tow? “Thanks, hostess, we’ll need a table for two but just one menu. I already know what Buster here will be having. Don’t worry, you don’t have to lug over a high chair for him. I brought my own.”

Stop the madness!

This rabbit is terrifying. He’s like the clown from It, but in rabbit form. Add your captions below.

How was your Easter? Mine was like every other Sunday, being a heathen and all. I slept til noon, hung out with my wife and worked on my garden.

Sadly our brutal winter did not destroy the Audrey II-like demon plants that took over my rosemary. Those stinging nettles were back in full force and my only option was to dump the entire container. Thankfully it didn’t spread to my mint or chives and those babies are already back with a vengeance. The only thing winter did manage to kill was our patio chairs and table. Stupid winter. Here are some scenes from the garden.

So now my official love-hate relationship with warm weather can begin. Meaning I love our fresh herbs and the soothing babble of our fishpond, but hate having to remember to always water the plants and feed the fish. How was your weekend?

P.S. We have a new contest winner for our monthly comment-on-this-blog-to-win-free-stuff contest. The winner is:

“Officer: You’re under arrest for indecent exposure.

Oompa Loompa: I was just trying to show the kids my everlasting gobstopper!”
- Marisa wrote in response to Title This Tuesday: Oompa Loompas Gone Wild

You can be our April winner. All you have to do is leave some comments around the blog