It’s no secret that Baptist evangelical Freddie Gage’s All My Friends Are Dead sermon LP has spawned a lot of homages and parodies over the years. I had initially thought about doing this design “straight”, using an actual historical figure. But the wife made a suggestion last night (after I had already completed the design, as is often the case) that maybe a zombie might be a better subject. After my customary tantrum at having to scrap hours of work, I got started on the revision. It turns out she was right (as is often the case.)
Almost happy new year, all! If there’s ever a time to spring for some bubbly, it’s New Year’s Eve. Of course you can drink it from a flute, or straight outta the bottle if it’s that kind of party, but if you’re a cocktail connoisseur looking for something a little more adventurous than a mimosa, here are some options to ponder for tonight’s festivities.
Cosmopolitan Champagne Cocktail (via Epicurious)
1 1/4 cups Cointreau
1 1/4 cups cranberry juice cocktail
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
3 tablespoons superfine granulated sugar
4 cups chilled Champagne or other sparkling wine
Combine Cointreau, cranberry juice, lime juice, and the sugar. Chill the mixture until party time. When you’re ready to serve, divide the cocktail among 10 champagne flutes and top with champagne and a couple of skewered raspberries
Limoncello Sparkle (via Imbibe)
1 oz. limoncello
1/2 oz. Cointreau
Champagne
Combine limoncello and Cointreau in a shaker with ice. Shake moderately and strain into a chilled champagne flute. Top with Champagne and garnish with a lemon twist.
Mexican 75 (via Chow)
1 ounce blanco tequila, such as 7 Leguas
1/2 ounce fresh-squeezed lime juice
1/2 ounce agave nectar or Simple Syrup
4 ounces champagne
Combine tequila, lime juice, and agave nectar in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake vigorously until chilled, then strain into a champagne flute. Top with champagne and garnish with a lime twist.
P.S. If you’re worried about breaking the bank on bubbly, hit up Trader Joe’s. We scored several bottles of very tasty sparkling wine there for well under $10 each!
While not exactly on the same brilliant level of Tampon in a Teacup from Ghost World, The Robert uses old books to create very cool art, both stand-alone and installation pieces. Definitely check out his online gallery or stop into one of his shows if he’s exhibiting in your ‘hood.
Hank Scorpio wants his familiar back!
And a quick congrats is in order to Sir Patrick Stewart, who was knighted in Queen Elizabeth II’s New Year Honors list. While most famous for his roles as Capt. Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise-D and Professor Charles Xavier, we all know that his greatest bow came in episode 12 of season 19 on Saturday Night Live.
Are you mad?! Do you know what you are flirting with?! I will feed your steaming organs to all the hounds of Hell! I will watch your eyes burn... til the cows come home!
The other day I was hanging out with some friends and they overheard my wife say “don’t poke the bear.” I think I was asking if we could watch like 400 hours of football on Sunday(her words, not mine) instead of cleaning the house or something. My friend burst out laughing. “That’s great! ‘Don’t poke the bear’, I love it.” It got me thinking about some of the other verbal shorthand I use and verbal shorthand in general.
First let me say, I love verbal shorthand. I love a little inside joke with a loved one that expresses an idea in only a few words. I don’t mean things like LOL or BRB, although I do use those online like every other 21st century netizen. Here are some examples of what I mean…
Don’t poke the bear – This is what we say in our house when one of us is beginning to grow annoyed with the other one. If my wife sends me to the store for peanut butter and then calls as I’m already in the check out lane to say we need toilet paper I tell her “You are poking the bear.” It’s something said kind of playfully to diffuse a potentially annoying situation one of us is creating.
Too much hello – We say this when we have to go to a really boring social event full of extremely boring people. Do you remember in the beginning of the movie Sixteen Candles when Molly Ringwald’s grandparents arrive and perkily comment on her developing breasts? Imagine that same level of perkiness, but with the only exchange being “Hello!” and maybe commentary about the weather or the hors d’oeuvres spread, followed by nervous smiles and awkward pauses.
Oh, skycake – We say this when confronted with religious lunacy. It’s a reference to a Patton Oswalt bit. Patton talks about how he believes religion started because big bullies were going around beating up the little smart guys, thus the little smart guys convinced all the thugs that if they would lay off the murder and rape they’d go to heaven and it would be full of delicious cake. He goes on to say that the problem began when other thugs heard heaven was full of delicious pie and thus the religious wars began. So now, when we hear about some psycho bombing a clinic we say “oh skycake.” Shorthand for our exasperation with religious zealotry.
Positivity ’09 – (soon to be positivity 2010)- This is said sarcastically when one of us is in a bad mood. My wife will be going on about getting stuck in traffic and having to go to the DMV and our furnace breaking down in the middle of winter and I’ll say “Positivity ’09, honey”. We stole this from friends of ours who say it with complete sincerity when one of them is in a bad mood and the other is reminding that they should try to maintain a positive outlook. Since we revel in cynicism around here (we do live on the east coast, after all), my wife would probably smack me if I said this to her sincerely. When said jokingly, it usually gets a chuckle around here.
So what shorthand do you use with your friends and family? What does it mean and where did it come from?
According to a recent study, whiskey produces a worse hangover than vodka. This comes as no surprise to me; I feel worse during the actual act of consuming whiskey than I do when imbibing vodka.
To wit: whenever we go out to a fancier-than-thou drinking establishment, I find myself compelled to “man-up” and order a whiskey or scotch (suffice it to say, my manhood was called into question by a “friend” when I explained to him a couple years ago that I was strictly a beer-drinker. While I like to think I’m typically above such peer pressure, it’s always in the back of my mind.) I’ve even been sucked into the whole “the more expensive the whiskey, the better it must taste” trap. Hence spending $20 on a shot that my wife so eloquently said “taste[d] like evil.”
But the news that whiskey produces a worse hangover than vodka is hardly surprising. I’m no Brown University research scientist (because of how I prefer drawing monkeys on t-shirts), but isn’t the general rule of thumb that the darker the beverage, the worse off you’ll be the next morning? Hardly scientific, I know, but having done a lot of first-person “research” on the subject myself, I can safely theorize based on this hypothesis (this post brought to you by SCIENCE!) that red wine and dark liquors will FUCK YOU UP way worse than a delicate white or a crisp, clean vodka.
Case closed, Science. I’ll be here all year. Tip your waitress on the way out!
The other night we were at the gym watching TV (we do our best calorie burning while hypnotized) when an ad for our favorite local personal injury lawyer came on. We love his ads because he’s more or less insane and is always making references to urine, which is pretty random and gross, but also hilarious. He was growling into the camera angrily about insurance companies, as usual, and across the bottom of the screen it said “See Our Website For the Commercial That Was Banned in Baltimore!”
The wife immediately turned to me and said, “I know what we’re doing when we get home!”:
I am not sure why it was banned, maybe the “when I sue the bastards” line was a little much, or perhaps the oh-so accurate facsimile of the Geico Money Pile was just too close to the real thing, or Comcast was afraid that the gecko-rights activists might be up in arms over Barry’s treatment of the not-at-all-rubbery-looking lizard being thrown at him, but to me it still seems pretty tame. Anyway, Barry Glazer is great. I like to imagine John Waters writes and directs his ads. Zap!
We’ve finally created a Flickr account so now all our stylish fans can share photos of themselves in Ex-Boyfriend gear. If you’ve already got pics of yourself wearing Ex-Boyfriend on your Flickr account, you can just add your photos to our pool.
If you don’t have a Flickr account account but still wanna get your pictures posted please use this handy form and we’ll post your pictures for you.
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