I thought I’d heard about the weirdest baby-related thing in Asia when I read about the rice babies. You can send friends and family a giant bag of rice with baby’s photo and order the rice bag so that it is the same weight as your newborn. It will be just like holding baby for far away friends and relatives, right?
Now mothers-to-be in Taiwan can give birth in a Hello Kitty themed hospital. The Hello Kitty theme aims to reduce the stress of childbirth. “Patients are welcomed to the 30-bed hospital by a statue of Hello Kitty dressed in a doctor’s uniform. Then they will be greeted by the site of a pink elevator, complete with posters of the cartoon character on the wall.”
TV and I really had a thing going in recent history. We’d spend most nights together. I was down with the Rock of Love and Girls Next Door. I fully embraced trashy television. But I have to say, the novelty has worn off and I just can’t bring myself to enjoy another series about alcoholic losers with crabs. This doesn’t stop me from marveling at the concepts the networks continue to come up with.
Momma’s Boys, a gem from Ryan Seacrest and NBC that adds an Oedipal element to “reality” dating TV show concept. 32 ladies, 3 dudes and their moms. Let the hair pulling and name calling begin. If you think it can’t get any better, rest assured, it can.
Not to be outdone, VH1 is serving up Tool Academy. To paraphrase the VH1 blog: Nine unsuspecting, over confident bad boys who lie, cheat, and treat their girlfriends like door mats are being sent to relationship boot camp in the hopes of being crowned Mr. Awesome. While most of these reality shows could be classified as a Toolfest, it’s even more amazing that these people are actually going to be on a show called Tool Academy!
Reality shows I’m still waiting for:
1. America’s Best Accountant
We’ve had every other sort of professional competition from party planners to dog groomers. Yes, dog groomers! It can only lead to a calculator show down live in front of America.
2. The Bachelor, San Quentin
20 lucky ladies compete for the affections of one sexy felon. Sure he’s an axe murderer, but he writes a heck of a love letter. Conjugal visits anyone?
3. Terrorist Charm School
We’ve gotten to know the ladies from Flavor of Love and Rock of Love, now meet the dudes from Guantanamo Bay. Criminal masterminds determined to blow shit up are taught poise and manners.
I know I was going to talk about other things besides cats but you must meet my newest creation in my ongoing series of cat celebrities.
Fidel Catro is a menacing dictator who seeks to rule with an iron paw. When he’s not out pushing his commie agenda, you can find him smoking a catnip cigar.
One more bit of kitty news and then I swear I will talk about other amusing things. The good news is that the stray kitty we rescued is now living with my friend Brad. Hooray for Brad! I am so glad he was able to rescue the little guy. I am sure they’ll be BFFs in no time.
And lastly, the Wunder Boner (which I guess is not that bizarre if you’re into fishing but the commercial is pretty amazing and the product is called a Wunder Boner).
If you like absurdist humor and want to read about an army of flying squirrel monkeys battling evil meth ninajs, visit this blog.
excerpt:
["Where do you get real ninjas?"
"From Ninjatemp," he said, "the ninja temp agency."
"Why is there a ninja temp agency?" I inquired.
He responded, "In this day and age, it is increasingly hard for ninjas to find work. First, with all the movies inspiring nerdy young teenagers to take up ninja'ing, the market is really saturated. Second, most assassination work these days goes to shooters, which is sad really. I mean, look at Kennedy. That was a sloppy job, too many witnesses. I'm not saying I condone the killing of the president or anything like that, in fact, Kennedy was a very close friend of mine, but the fact remains that, if that hit were done by ninjas, there would have been no witnesses left alive. In fact, the American people may not have even known their president was dead until the next election. Regardless, because of a serious dearth of work, ninjas are hiring themselves out in other industries; light industrial work like splitting boards or sharpening paper cutters, construction and, sometimes, secretarial."]
Living in the city I see a lot of stray cats, usually they’re big, tough, feral guys who won’t come near people. But you also see a fair amount of abandoned pets. These are the guys that don’t do as well outside, and crave attention and care.
Lately we’ve been getting regular visits from this sad, bedraggled, little gray cat. He comes to our side door every few nights to beg for food. He looks up at us with his big, sad, lonely eyes and waits patiently at the door hoping we’ll spot him and offer him a nibble. The other night this kitty came by and stood in the pouring freezing rain trying to get our attention. We couldn’t just leave him there, so we brought him inside and dried him off, wiping the icy sheets of water off of his soft fuzzy coat.
We set up the little visitor in our bathroom with water, litter and food. (We have 2 cats of our own already and didn’t want them interacting.) He’s been a very polite house guest, except for the occasional mewing for pets when we’re busy. He sits on laps, uses the litter box, and has not once tried to bite or scratch. Since he’s gotten over his initial shyness, this guy likes to be petted and played with as much as possible. He is going to the vet on Friday to get shots and get neutered. After that we are going to look for a home for this guy. Below are a few photos. If you or anyone you know in the DC, Baltimore of Philly metro areas can offer this little guy a home*, drop me a line.
*Please only offer to take this kitty if you can give him a forever home. This means you won’t dump him if your new boyfriend doesn’t like him or you find a really rad apartment you want to move into that won’t accept cats. Animals get very attached to their humans and find it very painful and confusing to be abandoned. There are plenty of other people to date, there are plenty of other apartments to rent. If you can’t think of this guy as part of your family, please don’t take him.
Also, please do not declaw him. Declawing a cat may cause aggressive biting and it may cause painful arthritis later in life that will prevent him from using his litter box. If his claws are an issue, use softpaws. Our cats wear them. They are very easy to apply, I will gladly even give you a lesson on how to. They’re also pretty stylish and come in a variety of colors. All of that said, if you can offer this kitty a forever home, he’d make a wonderful cuddly companion and you’d be rescuing a sweet critter in need of a place to live.
This lucky cat is a common Japanese sculpture said to bring great fortune to its owner. You can check him out on tees and accessories. So much less brutal than lopping off a rabit’s foot.
our customers
