I’m usually torn between doing what sells for this site and doing what amuses me. I end up trying to do a bit of both. My girlfriend and marketing adviser (my girlfriend is a marketing consultant, is that weird for an artist? She sounds very corporate. Actually she works in her pajamas most of the time but sometimes she puts on these really hot looking suits… any way I digress.) has informed me that junk food t-shirts seem to be popular and she’s suggested I design some tees around that theme. People are probably looking for t-shirts with the Twizzlers logo. How boring. Plus, this isn’t helpful to me since it’s all trademarked and stuff.

So I’m going to invent my own junk food brands and make t-shirts for them. I will be like Willy Wonka with scrumdidillyumptious bars and lickable wallpaper. So I present to you my top 10 list of imaginary junk foods I am considering designing t-shirts around.

1. Candwich: It’s a candy and a sandwich. Lunch and a sugar fix in one tasty bar. Now available in chocolate bacon!

2. Glowrocks: Dazzle your friends with glowrocks, the candy that makes your mouth glow in the dark.

3. Whiskeyduds: a malted peanut butter and whiskey center with a chocolate candy shell. Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker, get you sugar and whiskey buzz all in one tasty snack.

4. Cheesefizz: The carbonated cheese flavored beverage available in cheddar, blue cheese and Gouda.

5. DinoBars: The super gigantic colossal chocolate bar with savory meat filling! When you’ve got a t-rex hunger turn to DinoBars.

6. Cheddar-Flavored Porkpoppers: A savory meal or snack available in your frozen food aisle. A trio of bacon, sausage and ham blended with a creamy cheddar filling, deep-fried and microwave ready.

7. Scrappleghetti: Too tired to make dinner? Pop open a can of Chef Girlardee’s Scrappleghetti, a savory blend of spaghetti and scrapple that makes a filling meal for the family.

8. Kakepops: Deep-fried vanilla cake on a stick. Enjoy your cake on the go!

9. Robo-Cola: A delicious space age beverage made by robots for robots made, available in original diesel flavor and plutonium! (OK so this is junk food for robots but soda is still junk food, right?)

10. Meatos: Taking pork rinds to the next level, Meatos are made with 12 different kinds of meat, dehydrated and deep fried for your snacking pleasure.

So, whaddya think? Bacon chocolate anyone?

P.S. Despite my many meat references I must confess, I’m actually a vegetarian. I just think meat is funny as a concept.

P.P.S If any Nabisco or Nestle executives are reading this and considering stealing these ideas, they are MINE and you may not steal them, however tasty you think they sound!

Welcome to the new and improved Ex-Boyfriend website! There are lots of shiny new things including this blog. If you’ve been a long time fan of Ex-Boyfriend you may be wondering what the heck happened to our old site and product line.

Once upon a time, I was designing, making, packing, and mailing everything ordered through Ex-Boyfriend. I was handling all customer service inquiries, managing all inventory, and generally drowning in stock and shipping materials. You see, I work out of a tiny studio, and in addition to running this label, I’m also a full time art student and freelance graphic designer.

The demands of this label, school, work and what personal life I had just got to be too much so I decided to turn to outsourcing. For the time being Ex-Boyfriend t-shirts, accessories, and other goodies will be manufactured and shipped through Cafepress for all retail orders. (Wholesale buyers can contact me for more wholesale-friendly pricing.) This leaves me with more time to draw pictures for you to wear and enjoy.