I worked on some new illustrations over the weekend inspired by Alice in Wonderland (the rabbit isn’t new, he’s just Wonderland-related). Enjoy.

Add your captions for this photo below

Image via American Apparel ad

If Russian mail order brides aren’t your thing, consider Hipster Wife Hunting. It’s like Suicide Girls but with less nudity and more boring chatter about bands you’ve never heard of. Nearly everyone is from Brooklyn, of course, so you’ll probably need to relocate to date these honeys. Never mind, what am I saying? If you want to date these women you’re probably already in Brooklyn. Now just make sure you’ve got:
- ironic facial hair
- track bike
- nautical star tattoos

I think my favorite potential hipster wife is Hospital, so nicknamed because she “shuffles around like a mental patient sometimes”. She also says she has “toe thumbs”. Anyone else getting turned on? And not to be shallow or anything, but she’d definitely divorce you if she didn’t care for one of the albums in your music collection. Fair enough.

Ladies, if you’re in the market you can submit your pictures. Now all you need are some weird looking wedding photos and a wedding dress from Urban Outfitters and you’re all set.

To many of you out their in adult-beverage-land a lemondrop is a shot. An ounce of icy vodka followed by a bite of sugar dipped lemon wedge. All fun and games until someone loses their lunch. For more refined sweet/tart goodness, consider a lemondrop martini.  The icy booze with the pucker of lemon and sugary sweet finish makes for a delightful little drink. You’ll find me throwing a few back on my patio as soon as the temperatures make their way past 75 F.

Make yourself a Lemondrop:
1. Cut a lemon into 4 equal wedges and moisten two martini glasses around the rim with juice from the wedges.

2. Rim the moistened martini glasses with superfine sugar and set aside

3. Combine the following in your cocktail shaker:

• 3 oz chilled vodka
• 1 oz Cointreau
• 2 Tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 2 Tablespoons superfine sugar (plus extra for rimming your glasses)
• ice

4. Shake to combine ingredients in shaker and then evenly divide the martini into two glasses.

5. Top off with a splash of seltzer for a little added sparkle and serve immediately.

I went a little nuts this afternoon when a friend forwarded this to me. As most people who know me personally are aware, I have a bit of a thing for making fun of Juggalos. For those of you not in the know, a juggalo is a fan of Detroit-based shock-rap duo Insane Clown Posse. It’s a pretty tight-knit group of ex-cons, meth addicts and such that enjoy drinking Faygo, painting their faces in ghastly clown make-up, and ending any and all sentences with “an’ shit.” Sort of a microcosm of what Mike Judge was attempting to portray in Idiocracy.

The creator of this video, Scott Gairdner, is clearly an unrivaled genius. He should pull a Salinger, because this is without question his Catched In The Rye; it is, after all, better to burn out than to fade away.

Provide your captions below for this unbearably cute photo:

I normally fill this space with more amusing stuff, but I’m spent after a busy weekend of new art and website tweaks. If you frequent these parts you’ll notice a few tweaks to the website. Just some minor stuff here and there that hopefully makes the site a little easier to navigate.

So the new art, please admire Groucho Barks and these cute new allium dudes:

Also, we have a new contest winner for our monthly comment-on-this-blog-to-win-free-stuff contest. The winner is:

“Hey look! Henry Waxman got new glasses””
-Jill @ Liv’nGood Jewelry wrote in response to Title This Tuesday: Obama Made a New Friend

Don’t despair, you can totally be our March winner. All you have to do is leave some comments around the blog

Final note, I am raising funds for the MDSPCA’s March for the Animals. Please make a donation? As always, purchases made on this website help raise funds for the critters. In the next week or so I’ll be releasing a special line of goodies with 100% of the net profits going to this March for the Animals (more on that soon, stay tuned.)

Every year the MD SPCA has a March for the Animals to help raise funds for its animal rescue efforts. Although they are a Maryland area charity, they lend aid to rescues all around, taking in rescues from neighboring states and sometimes even further afield. If you hang around here often, you know animal charities are a cause near and dear to my heart and that we donate a portion of the profits from this website to those causes.

If you’d like to help us help the beasts, please consider helping us out for this fundraiser and making a donation. Every little bit helps, and as always purchases on this site help us raise funds for the animals.

We’ll be collecting for the March For the Animals fundraiser now through April 17th. Look for some special fundraiser merchandise to go on sale in the next couple of weeks.

I couldn’t decide whether to file this under Fuzzy Friday or WTF Wednesday. It’s got a bit of both to it, but since I already had a very excellent video about sex with elves to share earlier this week, I decided to save this for today. Eternal Earth-Bound Pets has an offer for Christians preoccupied with the fate of their pets in a post-rapture world. Simply pay them $110.00 and these certified atheists will come collect your pet while you’re off enjoying the hereafter with Jesus. (They’ll collect a second pet for just $15.00, quite a bargain, amiright?)

This leaves me with more questions than it answers, primarily how enjoyable would the hereafter really be without my most beloved 4-legged family members? Thankfully, being not the religious type, I probably won’t be invited to this pet-free Christian after-party, so I guess I won’t worry too much about that. I’m perfectly happy to chill here with my fuzzy besties, anyway. Speaking of which, please enjoy the following photos of Bigby, he was being such a ham for the camera this week, I couldn’t resist.